Undermined

[Team1991]

Does anyone else's partner constantly undermine them? Like anything I say he thinks the opposite. I sometimes feel like I shouldn't bother talking because he is going to disagree immediately. Any part of his family he validates and supports elev if they are completely wrong. But me he would happily throw me to the wolves. Any advice on dealing with somebody who obviously doesn't agree with your personality?

My advice is to end the relationship. It won't improve. Why on earth would you want to remain with someone who is unpleasant?

I don't want to just give up. When I tell him how it makes me feel he says "i understand but" and completely ignores my reasoning and just continues to ramble on wbout why he is right. It's so frustrating

He doesn't care about how you feel. Why don't you want to 'give up'? Having a relationship isn't supposed to be an endurance challenge. He doesn't accept how you feel, and you don't like the way he deals with it. How do you think you can make this better?

That's what I'm hoping to get advise about. We have children. And they love our family dynamic. I'm just sick of constantly feeling like life is one big fight. But second guess myself by thinking maybe I am just being oversensitive.

Being a man and never had a relationship I dont get why men do this to someone they claim they love. If you are not respected or his 1st choice why settle for 2nd best? You deserve to be loved and respected.

is it good for your children to see you constantly undermined and your opinions rubbished, tho?

You might find his disrespect for you starts to translate into them disrespecting you. And it chips away at your relationship and your self-esteem to have this continually.

Maybe try relationship counselling if he's willing, to try to reset your communication - but it seems like he is more interested in being "right" and putting you down than he is in having a happy relationship.

Thanks everyone for the advice. It's really appreciated

Your only options are to give up, or to put up with being undermined forever.

This fucker even undermines you for ... pointing out that he is undermining you!
What on earth are you hanging onto him for?
HE IS NOT GOING TO CHANGE.
He's as good as told you that he knows exactly what he is doing, & is going to keep doing it anyway, no matter how much it upsets you.

He obviously enjoys putting you down. He likes it so much that he prefers it to your happiness & comfort. What alse to you need to know about a man like that? Dump him already.

Why are you reluctant to end a relationship that doesn't value or respect you?

Why do you feel it is your responsibility to make a relationship work with someone who doesn't value or respect you?

I think the mistake you are making, reading between the lines, is that you assume there is a magic combination of words that will provide him with a light bulb moment and he'll suddenly 'get it' and change. He won't. This is deliberately and intentional.

Your choices are to end the relationship or tolerate it. You aren't going to be able to do anything to change how he behaves towards you because he's choosing to do that. He knows wjat hes doing. He's not an idiot!

How can your kids love your family dynamic if He is always underming you?

If you can't leave then what you do is disengage. When he wants to start an argument with you, you just walk away. Every single time.