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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Struggling with moody OH

2 replies

Inkdrinker · 27/11/2022 08:28

Hi all,

Me and my partner have been together for nearly 9 years. During that time we haven't had any major fall outs but I can feel one brewing if things do not change.

Basically, I work full time which is about 3 or 4 12 hour shifts, some of which are nights. My partner is a SAHD with my 3 kids, one of which is autistic and needs near constant supervision. I've been both a SAHM and a full time worker and I know how hard he has it. I personally prefer working and I can't blame him for finding life difficult but I've told him to look for a job himself if it's too much but he doesn't try.

He's miserable and depressed but won't go to the gp. He says he finds it all monotonous, which it is and fed up of having no help. I've literally just come off from working 3 night shifts in a row and I've needed some sleep, I'm now trying to help as much as I can.

He is shouting and snapping at everyone and it's making us all feel like shit. It's not fair. The kids are misbehaving, one because they're bored and two, they pick up on the energy in the house.

I just don't know what to do because I'm exhausted of it all. Every single day off I have is ruined with his mood and its just not fair.

This is mainly just me having a moan because I don't know where else to vent.

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 27/11/2022 08:42

He is being unfair. It sounds like getting a job would be his best option, and you guys pay for childcare. Can you help him look? He might just need a push

EarthSight · 27/11/2022 14:59

Why doesn't he look for a job? There a reaosn why he's not doing that. He might feel guilty as maybe you'll have to find childcare for your children instead of them being with a parent? Or he doesn't think his life would improve as he would be spending time at work and then coming home to the same situation?

Before he had kids, what gave him joy in life? Does he still get to do any of it now?

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