I’m going round in circles: stressed, anxious and guilt ridden, trying to work out whether to end my eight year relationship. If it wasn’t for the kids, I would have ended it years ago, but I just feel so guilty. I went through two divorces as a child- parents and mum/step dad and I wanted to give my own children a more stable, happy childhood.
My partner (not married) has a well paid job and also a business. Each brings in a good amount of money. I work in the public sector and earn an OK but not high salary. Essentially having two full time jobs means we don’t see much of DP. He’s always working. Our own home is half renovated- DP says he doesn’t have the bandwidth to deal with it and I need to take it on, but he doesn’t want to employ anyone to do the work. He wants us to do it ourselves. I don’t have the skills or time. I wouldn’t have bought this home had I known he would literally ignore the project we’re living in. (Aware this makes me sound like a bit of an idiot). I also work full time and have our two young children to look after. His attention is always elsewhere. He works so hard but doesn’t prioritise family. When he is at home he’s looking at his phone and doesn’t lift a finger unless I ask. It feels as though there is no connection between us. We’re barely friends let alone partners.
We also haven’t had sex in over a year. I just don’t want to. I can’t see it coming back after so long.
We don’t argue or shout at each other in front of the kids but we’re also not particularly kind or friendly. It doesn’t feel fair on the kids. We’ve signed up for counselling but we’re currently on a waiting list.
I’m so scared to go it alone- financially, emotionally, logistically. I will do anything for the children and their happiness and security is my absolute priority.
What would you do?