Am I rude for doing this?

[InterruptingCoww]

Occasionally I will accidentally interrupt DH when he is talking.
It’s usually when he has just begun to talk and I have already decided to speak so it comes out without me really thinking about it.
For instance today whilst shopping I was concentrating on the things going
through the checkout, I was figuring out something in my head, DH starts to speak and literally a couple of seconds later I start to say what’s on my mind.

He obviously finds this really annoying and reacts with a big sigh or rolling eyes and to be honest the look of contempt on his face makes me quite sad.

I am not sure if I am being really rude or it’s just part of normal conversation. It really doesn’t happen that often, I’m not doing it on purpose and I’m not sure how to stop doing it.
I feel his reaction is disproportionate to the crime in a way and perhaps a symptom of his general feelings towards me.
Such a small thing but I guess part of a bigger complicated picture that is my marriage.
I just felt the need to talk this through, thank you.

Yes interrupting is a tad rude, but it all depends on how you react when you realise you've done it.
'oh sorry, didn't mean to, please continue' is perfectly fine.
Carrying on with your thought and bulldozing his conversation, not fine.

If you stop and apologise that's fine. If you just plough on inanely and expect him to drop everything in his head to listen to you, you need to work on your communication, because you're basically telling him that what he wants to say is worthless to you, that you don't give a shit what he thinks about anything, and only want to listen to yourself talk and presumably get validation from him that you can keep talking. My FIL does this and honestly I just avoid him as much as possible because it's so disrespectful and twattish and it violates the basic social rules of conversation. I don't see why I should have to listen to him when he doesn't listen to me.

So... Hopefully it's the first one?

Thanks for your replies. I do stop immediately. I understand that carrying on would be rude, I don’t think my conversation is more important than his but merely that’s it’s an accident as we have both started speaking almost the same time. I mean, doesn’t that happen in normal conversation sometimes? And it is only occasionally I do it not everyday or even every week. It’s more his indigence as if he thinks I’ve meaningfully done it.

When this happens in other relationships for instance talking in the phone to Dsis one of us will say, oh sorry go on… and let the other speak and it all seems to work out in the end and as far as I am aware those conversations are mutually enjoyable.

He also doesn’t look at me a lot of the time when I am chatting to him whilst he is browsing social media and sometimes in the car he will not respond to me at all so maybe it is me after all. These are all things that I find really upsetting.

I am not sure what I can do to stop it unless I catch myself before opening my mouth and make sure he’s not about to say something. How should I work on it? Any suggestions would be welcome.

Does it happen with just him or others too?

I think his making a mountain out of a mole hill

I’ve got peri menopause brain so have to say something while I can still remember it ! But I know it’s rude, I’m always apologising.

Does the reverse never happen? He starts to speak immediately after you?

My DH interrupts all the time. Does my head in. He'll barge in with his wrong end of the stick, take it off on a tangent. I just stop and wait til he's finished. I'd say it's 50/50 whether he'll ask me to continue or just forget that it was even me who started the conversation. I do find it really rude but if I call him out he says it's just how conversation works.

Anyway. If you're stopping and letting him continue then I think you're fine. Does he ever do it to you?

My DH does this all of the time - not his opinion or on topic but a complete subject change as if I hadn't been talking. I actually think he dyspraxia and/or adhd (other reasons too). I've become used to it. Sometimes it annoys me and I'll say to him I was talking and he'll immediately apologise. Other times I'll let him say what he wants to say and then when he's finished I'll say can I carry on now and give him a knowing grin and he'll apologise. I always say it's OK. Other times I'll say nothing and just carry on when he's finished. Yes it does annoy me sometimes but it doesn't make me angry and I wouldn't react like your DH is. I genuinely don't think he can help it and I can't get cross with him about that. Have you explained to your DH that you don't register that other people are talking all the time?

My ex used to be like that in not replying sometimes - he can’t seem to read his phone and respond to conversation at the same time. Then 5 mins later he would say ‘what did you say’ - and I’d say doesn’t matter.

What you’re describing is normal. We have this in work meetings all the time. You just apologise and move on. He’s clearly quite triggered by it

Sounds like he's very rude to you if he's choosing social media over talking to you and blanks you.

If he's at the point of contempt in the relationship, it's probably over, really. It doesn't mean he's right to behave that way or that you deserve contempt, just that somehow the relationship has broken down. I wouldn't want to stick around to be made to feel that way.

This is me too. When someone is telling me something and I think of something important to say about the subject matter, by the time they have paused it's gone. For. Ever. 🥴