Bad oral hygiene.

[SuspiciousBanana]

My DH doesn’t go to the dentist. He’s been once in the 25 years I’ve known him.

His teeth aren’t looking good now and he has terrible breath, it’s very difficult getting close to him. I think he knows it but he’s got such a deeply sensitive personality and if I was direct to him he’d just never get over it and it would break his heart. (I know it sounds ridiculous and it causes problems sometimes but there are some thing I just can’t bring up.) Myself and my kids have dental visits ever 6 months without fail. He just won’t take it on and gets angry with me if I suggest he gets enrolled with the practice! (He’s obviously scared)

I don’t think I’ve properly kissed him for over 10 years now. Possibly once or twice in that time but I can’t face it.

the thing is I really miss it and it makes me SO sad. It’s affected our sex life on my part but he seems satisfied with what we have (i “help” him daily 🤣) so there’s not a huge issue with regards to that really. I just deal with it so it’s ok.

What makes this even more difficult is that I have really awful body image. I’m extremely unattractive and overweight and I feel that me mentioning this to him would be deeply hypocritical. If I was slim or better looking I’d probably not feel quite so terrible about bringing it. How could I criticise him when I’m physically so revolting myself!?!

Does anyone have any useful advice?

I think you could both do with some counselling.

Him to address his fear of the dentist and yourself to address your body image issues.

Neither of you can be happy with the status quo, so if you can afford a bit of counselling I think it'd probably help

Oh he’s never see a councillor! That’s unfortunately definitely out of the question.

It’s affected our sex life on my part but he seems satisfied with what we have (i “help” him daily 🤣

Well then maybe you should stop. What motivation does he have to change anything as long as he's getting serviced daily? Sex strike until he stops being disgusting. That simple.

I believe bad teeth can affect your heart?

Perhaps you can find an article and show it to him.

Tell him how you would hate him to have heart problems.

Maybe stop ‘helping him’ daily🤨… until he agrees to sort out his oral hygiene, just tell him it’s a turn off and you can’t be intimate until it’s resolved.

I have actually mentioned that to him in the past but he just won’t engage. it’s so difficult!

I just think that he’s so sensitive that it would cause massive issues! (It’s not his fault because he had a really shitty upbringing. His parents don’t do dentistry!)

What massive issues would it cause? Surely him makig an effort to overcome his fear of the dentist is worth any ‘issues?’ You can’t just opt out of oral hygiene when your breath is so offensive and your teeth aren’t great. Sounds like you need to give him a bit of tough love and let him know in a gentle way that he needs to get help

It sounds really bad and I doubt you are the only person who has noticed. It will be affecting friendships and relationships at work. TBH I think you have to be direct otherwise someone else is going to say something. Also poor dental health can cause heart problems. Do you think he already knows?

Sod him being sensitive, tell him you are sensitive to his rank breath 🤮

You help him daily?? Does he not return the favour

It's not difficult to stop 'helping' him