Angry hubby

[maddog1996]

DH has been extremely angry and irritated by me just lately . He gets so worked up and shouts at me over nothing . It's like he can't talk anymore he just has to shout .
Also he's like this every weekend when he's off work . He's never like this in the week .
He makes me feel like I'm not entitled to an opinion and belittles me . It's as if im nothing like the little pathetic woman and what I say is rubbish .
I've spoken to him on many occasions about this but he blames me . He apologises then does it again . I'm starting to dread weekends as I almost expect the worst . He refuses to admit he has a problem and refuses to seek help . any thoughts ?

I’m in no place to advise you on this at the moment but just wanted to say I know something of what you are experiencing. It’s so hard walking in egg shells. It’s unacceptable behaviour. How you change it is a question I’m asking myself. Stuck record at the time ‘please don’t shout at me’ over and over without responding to the words. Or walking away saying ‘I’m happy to talk about this but not while you are shouting at me’. Sometimes this works for me. Couples counselling might help. Strike while the iron is cold - when things are calm and let him know you’ve noticed this change and ask him what’s going on?

good luck OP. 💐

Sorry. You’ve said he won’t admit there is a problem or seek help. Ignore half of my advice then and just take my very warm wishes and hope that things turn out well for you. 💐

To maddog and Changeofnameagain

I presume these men are all sweetness and light to those in the outside world and it is for you solely this abuse is directed at.

You cannot change it; you start making plans to leave the relationship. Couples counselling also is not recommended when there is abuse of any type within the relationship. Remember that the only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none.

Im experiencing this at the moment with my partner, it’s been quite recent too. He’s very shouty and tells me off for small things. It’s also with kids.
Im starting to think I can’t live like this

Same hun . I can't cope with it ... I suffer already with anxiety and depression so you can imagine how all this affects me . I hope your ok x

He flatly refuses he says to have anyone telling him how to do things . I've said well you can't be that bothered about the situ then 🤷🏽‍♀️. He's like paranoid too thinking everyone is getting at him for some reason even my daughter . I've asked him if he's smoking something in the week and then can't have it at weekend as lately he's proper paranoid

Same in my house. Stuck with the old bastard today. Usually prefer if we’re not here at the same time...

He thinks we’re going to have these picture perfect family weekends. Then if I don’t sit down & watch Christmas movies with hot chocolate & blankets etc... he gets angry! As if I want to be cleaning the house. But it has to get done!

I can’t say anything, anymore... I suspect smoking of some sort as well. He has caused aggro with my family, too. But I can’t have a rational conversation about it without WW3 erupting... If LTB was that simple, I’d be doing it right now.

@maddog1996 what sort of things does he shout at you for? I can totally understand how it’s making you feel. If I try to stand up for myself I get shouted down and it’s as if I can never put my view across.

My kid is starting to pick up on it. I have to get away from him sooner than later...

It can be anything like if I don't agree with his views or he thinks I'm not listening . His face changes as if I proper irritate the f out of him by having an opinion .
He's the same with DD he thinks she doesn't listen to him ( she's 26 not a child ) hence why I think he's paranoid . It's like he feels everyone is against him for some reason altho I have no idea why .
What really pisses me off tho is when he rings other people OMG he's as nice as pie to them .. I could smash his face when I hear him because I want him to be nice to me too 😢

Does a 26 year old woman need to listen to a shouting old man?

No no she doesn't.

Many abusive men are nice and or otherwise plausible to those in the outside world.

Time to leave, don't you think?

I get you on the relationships with other people. My DH is horrible to my family. But the best guy on earth with his mates. He’s just been laughing & joking in the phone to his pal. Back to Mr Misery Balls now it’s just me & DS at home. Nobody knows what he’s really like (except my family now, who want nothing to do with him).

If this is a sudden change and he’s not like it with work colleagues, I’d be thinking it could be that he’s had his head turned. If he’s like it with others too, it might be mental health related, but if he refuses to get help for it then there’s nothing you can do to fix it, so you have to look out for yourself.