Just want a handhold

[Prongles]

I made the decision a little while ago to leave my OH. Things haven’t been good for a while, he does nothing around the house, doesn’t contribute financially and doesn’t want kids. I want to get the house sold before I tell him, as otherwise I don’t think I’d get him to leave, and I also don’t want him to know where I am living in the future or preventing any sale.

the house is on the market, but of course the market has stalled and no one is viewing. People keep telling me things will pick up in the new year but the idea of just sitting tight for another 6 weeks to see what happens has just been really getting me down this week.

i want to start IVF for a baby once I am out of this relationship, but am just having a bit of a wobble that I’ll be out soon.

just looking for reassurance that I’ll be ok

Who is on the mortgage?

Both. Deed of trust with me at 84%

Does he know how you feel?

Is it possible you could buy him out of his 16% of the equity?

Surely it would be much cheaper to buy him out? Once you've paid for all the solicitors' bills etc then is there really much in it? Then you could move when it suits you.

he knows I’m not happy, but he doesn’t know it’s over. I’ve been telling him for the last 5 years that I’m unhappy but he doesn’t seem to care enough to change things.

he knows I’m not happy doing all the housework, but just says it’s my fault for not telling him what to do. He doesn’t think he needs to contribute any more financially because we’re comfortable, but we’re only comfortable because I pay for everything.

I worry that if I tell him it’s over I’ll never get him to leave the home without going to court. Or he’ll dig his heels in on a house sale holding out for stupid money just to stay out.

I don’t want to buy him out, partly because if the market tanks I don’t want him having screwed me out of even more money- but I also really don’t want him knowing where I live when this is all said and done. I don’t want him turning up at home or hanging around areas he knows I’ll be

You're doing the right thing, whatever happens in the future. You'll get through it, just try to keep focus and start the ball rolling ASAP. Don't waste any more time with this man that you can't build a life with. You can do it.