Husband says I'm no fun.

[Yoyocake]

It's true I am no fun. I'm a full time carer (24hrs a day 7 days a week) to my disabled daughter with no respite or support from anyone.
My husband refuses emotional support, to help me and spends no time with me. Tonight he says that couples watching tv together and having a glass of wine is a fairytale and theres nothing in it for him. Yes i'm boring and exhausted and no fun. Where's the way forward here?

Oh I see. I HEed one of my autistic children for two years. It was necessary but it was hard. I didn’t even drive then. I still feel exhausted remembering it. You have that and so much more on your plate.

The clinginess will get better. Maybe slowly but it will. It just takes a really long time for ND children to adjust to. Like an ice flow, but slow progress is still progress. You need those little windows of time and she needs to slowly build up a small degree of adaptability. Are you planning to HE right through? Any plans for an ECHP?

Things will change in tiny degrees. It won’t always be this hard. Your DD is entitled to services and you’ll very slowly get them and be able to ease her into them.

Don’t get sucked into dealing with the hoarding. Two serious illnesses in the family and your own situation are enough for now. Hoarding is a very difficult thing to solve and will just add to your feelings of powerlessness.

You poor thing. I do feel for you.

As you are married, unlikely to be able to work for a while (at all?) you'd probably have a good claim against DH for a good share of the house and investments. You won't have to afford everything yourself.
Get proper legal advice to see exactly where you stand. Make sure you are able to give the solicitor as full a picture as possible of all the assets owned by DH and/or yourself in order to get the best advice.
Is it vital that you homeschool? Are there other alternatives or is it something you have been forced into due to absence of options? I know education provision varies hugely depending on your local authority.

"You're no fun"

"No I'm not. Maybe its because I am married to a lazy self centred selfish prick"

She can't cope in a school environment. She has been out of school 5 years now. I've got the education side ok. She's PDA/ADHD/Dyspraxia so it's a challenge but it's ok. She will do college or functional skills at 14 hopefully. It's just the support I guess I'm not getting.

She is lucky to have you.

If your DH, knowing all this, thinks it’s remotely acceptable to complain that you aren’t “fun”, he’s beyond help. He should be so appreciative of all you’re doing and he should be supporting you.

As for those books he’s reading….I’d think about what your plan is if things suddenly blow up before your DD accesses some formal education at 14. If you can arrange it, a family law appointment might be wise. It might be calming to know what your options really are.

Have you had a carers assessment from social work?are their carers support orgs in your area?