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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband is always out, working, hobbies etc, I feel like an afterthought

1 reply

user1494621907 · 25/11/2022 18:23

My husband is always working, or going to two choirs, visiting his father, going to the gym, on his computer, or anything other than spending time with me.
I dont expect us to be joined at the hip, but he knows that I am going through menopause, both children at university, and this is a big life change for both of us.I thought it would be a chance to get closer, but he just seems to be on a mission of doing stuff alone.I know I can get more hobbies, interests etc and do my own thing, but there is a limit surely to how seperate your lives are.It makes me feel unwanted and bad.He said lets book a table and go out for a meal, and then lands it on me that he is working overtime tommorrow, it feels like I am an afterthought, a box to be ticked, I dont want him working every weekend, he has a big pension, and we are not desperate for the money.I can see us drifting apart at this rate, I know its quite common at our stage in life, but I feel really lonely right now and I am not sure what to do, I can talk to him about it forever and he still doesnt get it

OP posts:
CreamArran · 25/11/2022 18:25

@user1494621907 I didn’t want to read and run. I’m not at that stage yet, kids still young but a couple of years ago I was feeling similar and I basically said to DH that if we keep going like this we are going to end up divorced. Things have improved a lot since then. Does he know how you feel?

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