Me and my mum have a super close relationship to the point it was probably unhealthy. My mum told my dad to stay out of my life before I was born as he was abusive. Since then she ultimately let me cling to her 24/7. I became really close to my grandparents on her side and we all ended up living together. They died when i was in my teens which has completely messed me up mentally which she is aware of. I have two dogs but she wanted me to go to university which I did on the agreement she would help me with my mental health and the dogs. And tbh ever since I went to uni 3 years ago she has been really horrible to me. She won’t share care for the dogs she then got her own two dogs and a new boyfriend and tells me she is sick of helping me with my mental health and it’s now time for her to live her life, and basically that she’s not dealing with me anymore. I wouldn’t have gone to uni without her support I’d have gone straight into work as I knew I’d struggle and even with bills and the dogs. We’ve had many fall outs since and gone months without speaking and didn’t even spend Christmas together I was homeless and she didn’t even care I messaged her and said I have nowhere to go the day before Christmas and her response was that I am no longer her problem. Her boyfriend hates me and I hate him but again my mum tells me things about their relationship she shouldn’t tell me as I am very protective of her and causes issues between me and him and then sides with him. Recently we have been getting on okay as she admitted she has been leaving me out and siding with him as I explained to her when we fall out she doesn’t care and has her boyfriend but she leaves me with no one and tells me that nobody cares about when she knows i suffer with suicidal thoughts. I do now live by myself in a flat with the dogs and have just undergone emergency surgery, I stayed at her house the night I experienced the pain and she made me wait two hours before takin me to the a&e as she didn’t believe me and was moaning that she was tired and going to have to wait ages to get me seen, this made me question going to hospital myself but as it isn’t the first time she hasn’t believed me And I was unwell I decided to go. I had to have my appendix removed 12hrs later, to which she said I could stay with her after so she could care for me I suggested i stayed in her room for a day or two(her and her boyfriend don’t share a room he sleeps on the sofa) as her bedroom has an en-suite and i was going to the toilet every hour and in pain walking if I stayed in the other room the bed was difficult to get in and out of and the toilet is in the living room so I would have to keep disturbing her boyfriend. After this she lost her head calling me disgusting and cheeky and saying she was knackered and that i was selfish to ask this of her (she has let me stay in her bed on other occasions and stayed on the sofa so I thought after emergency surgery this wouldn’t be an issue at all) I was a bit shocked that all she had done is moan about tired she was (bearing in mind I have severe anxiety over my health and had suffered multiple panic attacks whilst at the hospital and barely slept and had to be drugged to put to sleep). Then I rang her and said they are discharging me to which she said she isn’t rushing to get me she’s knackered and I’ll just have to wait she had slept for a full 12 hours. I didn’t want to wait in the discharge room for ages in pain so I rang my friend to get me I told my mum not to come and that my friend was coming and she called me pathetic. When I got to her house she didn’t ask if I was okay she made me and my friend a drink sat down and told me she had planned to go to london with her boyfriend at the weekend to visit a friend and she didn’t want to let her down so would I manage to care for FOUR dogs two days post operation whilst she goes off on holiday. I argued it and said not really and explained I may have complications and have to go back to hospital and explained it simply wouldn’t really work to which she argued back about letting her friend down. In the end I just told her to go. She then tried to get my friend to dye her hair but my friend had to leave. Then she wouldn’t help me ring the hospital about my meds and was just being stroppy and moaning she didn’t want to go buy me food and tablets I tried to make a drink and go to bed but we ended up arguing as she told me to fuck off for being stroppy. I was exhausted and in pain. I told her she was being disgusting and selfish and she started saying I shouldn’t come to HER house and to fuck off and that nobody cares about me and I have no friends and no wonder my dad hasn’t messaged me ( we don’t speak a lot but he got in touch when I was 16 but my mum managed very quickly to make me fall out with him) so I asked where my keys was she threw them at me and told me to fuck off with my dogs. I asked for my hospital bag and clothes to get ready to leave and she threw all my clothes I had left at hers over a few weeks I said i couldn’t carry them all right now as I am not supposed to lift anything. She told me i either take them or she would bin them. I actually thought she was going to hit me to be honest, I left hers as my friend came for me and she didn’t even help me carry my bags to the car and I haven’t heard from her since this was two days ago. She hasn’t asked how I am. Is this normal menopause behaviour? Was I being unreasonable? I don’t feel like I can forgive her anymore and I feel it’s time to cut her off for good but im speechless a mother can do this to their child after emergency surgery and not even ask if they are okay?