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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I being unreasonable

8 replies

CC163 · 25/11/2022 10:04

This week I've been ill with a sinus infection. But I've still been able to work as i can work from home bar one day where I have to be in the office. So the hubby said at start of week whatever day I'm in the office he'd work from home that day. Now I completely forgot about this due to my eldest stressing about exams and obviously I wasn't feeling great either so I'd told my boss I wasn't going into the office as I didn't think it would be appreciated! So this morning the hubby said are you not in office today - which jogged my memory- I told him no I'd let the boss know I wouldn't be in this week and that id forgot about him wanting to work from home. So he kicked off because his day was not how he'd planned it. I told him there was nothing stopping him working from home today and that I wouldn't be in his way. He kept saying he wanted peace and quiet and I asked him what does he think I'd be doing, ive my own work to do too its not like I'd be making a load of noise? He just kept saying he wanted peace and quiet and didn't want me having to hear telephone calls as well as a pile of other stuff! He then went on saying this is not an office this is a home and how'd he wished I was back at work like him. I enjoy working from home - he doesn't. I told him the benefits etc but he wasnt interested, just went on and on and he told me I don't get it and that I'm not listening to him. Was I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
chrimborambo · 25/11/2022 10:10

No, you weren't being unreasonable. Sounds like he had plans which have now been scuppered by you being there.

girlmom21 · 25/11/2022 10:14

I agree it sounds like he has other plans. Do you have plenty of space to be able to work separately and comfortably?

MintJulia · 25/11/2022 10:15

Yanbu. By the force of his reaction I'd say he had a day planned that you don't know anything about.

Any normal partner would either be pleased to have you around, or make you a lemsip, check you are warm and then go and get on with his work.

Hopefully he had planned a day of Xmas shopping.

Autumnalleavestime · 25/11/2022 10:17

Well he wanted an empty house and you gone for a reason. So the question is what reason would that be,

frozendaisy · 25/11/2022 10:25

Surely you said "oooooo are you James bond with your special secret phone calls" and then told him to suck it up buttercup you're not interested in his calls anyway.

CC163 · 25/11/2022 11:41

Thanks for the comments, helps me feel that I'm not actually losing my mind! Loved the James Bond comment! Wished I'd have thought of that but it would only have put his back up further

OP posts:
Autumntimeagain · 25/11/2022 14:33

100% agree that somehow you being in the house has scuppered whatever plans he had for the day.

Maybe it was Xmas shopping/xmas delivery arriving ?

Maybe it was actually a day off, but he didn't want you to know, but now he can't sit glued to the world cup ?

Or maybe something else ??

Ponderingwindow · 26/11/2022 00:06

Do you live on a one room?
if Yes, then maybe he has a point.

in the much more likely scenario of a home with multiple rooms and the ability to work more than 2 feet away from one another, then he is ridiculous. I would suspect he wasn’t really planning to work.

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