Me and my partner have been together for over 2 years but have been friends for 9 years. I'm 30 and he is 32. He had his first child when he was 19 with an Ex (they were engaged) and another child when he was 27 with a different Ex (they were married). Both have given him bad experiences as the women have manipulated the situation when they broke up. Because of this he is now highly apprehensive about having any more children.
He has always known that I want children and marriage, but it was only 2 years ago when we got together that he told me he didn't want any more but since being with me he had changed his mind.
We both suffer from depression, mine is influenced by the fact that I do not have any children of my own. Due to the medication my partner takes it affects him being able to 'finish'. I decided a year ago that I did not want to take the pill anymore and stopped. I adore his children and we are happy when we are all together but I'm not their mum, never will be and never will try to be, but I will be a parent figure.
I have been in a previous relationship where the man I was with also had a bad experience with the mother of his child and didn't want any more children until they met me... I was with him for 4 years before he finally came clean and said he didn't actually want any more and we broke up.
So where is my head at, at the moment? ...
- On one hand I feel I need to get over the fact I'm never going to have my own children and have started seeking help dealing with this.
- On the other, do I keep waiting and see if my partner comes to terms with his past in order for me and him to move forward.
- And the worst thought of all is, do we break up? I feel if we were to break up then I would seek to have a child myself by donor sperm.
Please help with your thoughts