DH stress and intimacy

[KWexler1]

DH has a stressful job and often works extra at home too. It's taking its toll on him I think as he always seems to have a cold and is generally run down. We have young DC and I am currently 6 months pregnant, working full time too and I'm struggling a bit with anxiety at the moment.

I guess for a whole host of reasons we haven't been as intimate as we normally are (1-2 times a week prior) for the last 6 weeks or so. I mentioned in passing that I was feeling more in the mood (thanks hormones) so we had sex last night, but he couldn't come.

My anxious mind flew into overdrive thinking he's obviously cheating and not interested in me etc., as normally its the opposite after a bit of a break. But is it more likely the impact of the stress and physical health issues, and even me being pregnant?

I'm sorry if this seems a bit garbled. I don't think he'd feel comfortable if I asked him outright, as its a very personal thing.

You should be able to have a discussion about your sex life with your husband, and you should also have a conversation about how his work is effecting his well-being.

Talk to him.

If he is run down and stressed, I think that there is your answer. Unless you have other reasons not to trust him I think you should just have a good chat about all.the things that are stressing him out.
Life can get hard sometimes, and sometimes that means men can't. It doesn't necessarily mean there is anything untoward going on. Talk to him.

This. One incident like this should not cause you to leap to the conclusion that he is cheating or not into you any more. Stress is a much more likely explanation. It's very frustrating for a man not to finish during sex and he probably feels both stressed and sexually frustrated (I am a man BTW). If you can destress him I'm sure things will return to normal.

Some men find it difficult to have sex and come when their partner is pregnant.

Stress (and I'd imagine lack of sleep) is also a major factor here, and most likely the root cause.

My other half went off sex when I was pregnant, think it was a combination of feeling very wary of my feelings about it as I had spent the first trimester throwing up and going to bed at 7pm, suddenly when I hit second trimester I started feeling like it again but sex wasn't as frequent as it was pre pregnancy still very sporadic. Unfortunately some men just don't find pregnancy arousing I mean biologically there's something to it as the primary function has been completed so to speak. I think I read a study as well that suggested men's testosterone levels actually fall when their spouse is pregnant, something biological and primal about that too. You just need to have a conversation, I had to sit my OH down and tell him I wasn't feeling rough any more, quite the opposite, and wanted it more than usual as he just wasn't reading my non verbal cues at all. It was really weird for me because he is usually very up for it and libido higher than mine when I'm not pregnant. I think as well I had cervical ectropion and had a bleed mid sex which we had to go to hospital for which really put us both off for the rest of the pregnancy!