What to say to boyfriend

[Lills23]

Hiya I don't really know what to think about this as it's come out of nowhere but my boyfriend has recently come to me and said he'd like to wear womens shoes and mentioned that he'd specifically like to wear ones like my ballet flats. What should I say/do about this?

How do you feel about it? Be honest - your feelings about this are valid too and don't feel like you have to be supportive with it if you don't want to be.

Just say what you think, if you think you’d not fancy him if he did this, then maybe this is not the right relationship for either of you. I feel the same way about beards, cannot fancy a man with one, and would hate if my husband got one.

people can’t tell you what to say about this as they don’t know how you think? What if we all said, ‘yeah, go for it, go shoe shopping together’? Would that make you happy? Just tell him how you think and go from there.

He needs his own shoes instead of ruining yours

I've shagged many a man who wore eyeliner and 'women's' clothes in the 90s.

I wouldn't shag a man who fetishised womanhood and wore 'women's' clothes for kicks.

But you make your own boundaries.

I don't know what you should say or do but I know what I would say and do. And it would be along the lines of 'bye'

He is free to do as he chooses. And you're free to choose whether this is something you're happy to tolerate or embrace

If this is real 😉

I'm all for people doing what they want but in a partnership both people have to be comfortable with things like this.

It would be a no from me and the relationship would be over. Even if he never wore them in my presence just knowing he wanted to would be it for me.

I think at the moment I just feel surprised and like I don't know him as much, yeah I want to support it but don't know if i can

Oh ok I understand and why bye
Yeah I agree and I'm struggling to know weather I could deal with it or not

Oh ok and yeah if that was why he liked the shoes I don't think I could either but if he just likes how they look they I might be able to

Yeah I think I will do and yeah I think I'd have to see him in the to know if I'd fancy him still or not

I'm quite open minded and if it was a friend/colleague/stranger in the street I'd say live & let live and if he's happy then so be it

As a romantic/sexual partner it would an issue as I'd find it a turn off. Even knowing he was into that would put me off, even if he didn't wear them in my presence

Yeah I'm the same I'd be fine with that as well
Yeah if it was a fetish I'd find it a turn of but if he genuinely just thinks they look nice I'm not sure it would be a turn off

Tbh it would worry me that it was going to escalate into clothing etc.

Yeah I might be able to deal with womens shoes but not clothing

Bleugh! Even the thought of a partner getting off on that is utterly revolting to me. Strangers could not give a damn, unless they think it buys them entrance in female only spaces.

That could just be the beginnings

Do you have the same size feet?

I'd not want him to ruin my shoes. He should buy his own.

It would be over for me. He can go satisfy his fetish somewhere else.

I would want an honest answer about whether this was the thin end of the wedge, as it were. I would not expect to get a completely honest answer.

If this is real then he wouldn't be wearing your shoes would he? Far too small.

Boyfriend, rather than partner or husband? I would probably run.

Yeah I'm going to ask him later why he said it
Well he could wear mine as his stopped growing when he was young and I have decently big feet for a woman so he could fit in my shoes
Well I put boyfriend but we are getting married next year

Good grief no. A man with little stunted feet sharing my shoes. Just no, but each to their own I suppose

I also bet my bottom dollar that this won't stop at shoes. He'll be eyeing up your smalls next

I'd tell him to buy his own

I really don't think he wants to wear them just because he thinks they look nice. There is more to it than that. Where does he want to wear ballet shoes? At home? In public? In bed? Ballet shoes are worn by male dancers as well as female ones of course so they are not gender specific garments like underwear. But speaking as a man myself I think he is getting some kind of kick out of wearing them - could be a shoe fetish or as others have suggested it could be that this is the first step on a wider agenda. You need to have an honest discussion about this before you commit to an LTR.

Me and my dp have the same size feet, uk 6 so neither big nor small. We are both the same height as well so in proportion.
We share shoes quite often, mostly trainers and the like. I don't have a problem with it. And before anybody asks no he doesn't have disgusting man feet or anything like that🙄