I'm 36 and have a 7 YO and pregnant again. I lived with my partner for 18 years now. I always worked full time and was usually the higher earner. I pay all the bills as well and do all house work.
Recently... Well about 3 years ago or 5 if I open my eyes.... My partner has been MR negative towards me. Nothing is good enough what I do. If I play with our son he start yelling he should know hot to play on his own, he yells that dinner is not on the table and that I don't listen to him or care about him. We have a dog which we agreed to adopt but now it is "my dog" and he never walks it or care about it. I pay for food and all as well. He talks about our sone to me like he is a piece if s and I messed up everything with him like why a 7 year old can't read to himself and why I have to read bedtime stories. Why he is unable to write correctly and play Lego on his own for hours cause that is what he did..... Then he blames the school that they don't teach anything and that I don't try to make up for lost knowledge. He can become aggressive as well. Not towards us yet however he got close once... But he breaks staff like the TV recently or his mobile or so out of anger....he never apologised nor admitted any wrong doing. He just yells. Now since COVID he works from home and he never leave the house. He may come shopping so he can tell me off that I cook the same ahit all the time and that I buy useless staff and that he had to pay so much for it... Again I pay all bills...Inc mortgage. We agreed that at least he has to pay food shopping. But now I just do this as well so I don't need to listen. I could cry every day or shout out due to anger and resentment. It's exhausting....and I can't even say he is a good dad as he ignores our son and do nothing with him.....maybe once a month plays Lego for like 30 minutes.....
I see it is an abusive relationship and tried talking about it with him but he just attacks me every time and try to rationalize his actions and saying it is my fault cause I don't care and don't listen to him...I asked him to come to therapy but he dismisses this as why to talk to someone about this...it won't help. Recently he is saying we should go separate ways which I agreed with... As I can't nor want to fight for this toxic feeling I feel most days...then he goes away I get silent treatment and make up and fight again if I do something he does not like....
It is exhausting and now that I am pregnant frightening as well. I am a survivor type and I know I can make it on my own.... But there are still feelings I have for him...just don't know how to end this or get him to move away at least so he can have a feel of real life when he does not have his personal assistant to do everything.... So it is the how I don't know.....
Thanks for reading and responding, I appreciate it.... And sorry if it went a bit too long .. my head is a bit of a mass... And it's hard to summarise this in one thread... A book would do better :) not that it would be that interesting.....