To make the first move or not?

[Bibity]

Not long out of a 17 year relationship. However (I'm going to be vague as paranoid I'll be ruumbled) 🤔 I've known someone for over 18 months through taking my class somewhere a couple times a year, he runs the place. I also take my own children, more often. I like him and he's known me as being married for the majority of the time. He knows I'm single now. He talks to me a lot when I'm there, maybe more than the other mums/dads. He's not got social media, from what I can tell. I keep thinking I'll message him (like, hey thank you for this morning, we had a great time) but then time goes on and it would just be really random. He does have my number too (due to the professional side of the relationship). I don't even know if he likes me, he could just be being friendly but I get good vibes. If I message and he thinks ohhh that's odd, it'll be super awkward but maybe he's thinking the same?!? Advice?

I've known a couple men who ran groups for adults/children and they're inundated with women who have crushes on them and women who feel a special connection with them.

Men who run things that other people attend appear warm, approachable, dynamic, charismatic, interesting and interested, self motivated, confident, friendly, intellectually and emotionally intelligent... because the success of their business/activity depends on it.

That not to run you down, its just experience. They were also single and made crap selfish partners because their priority was the groups they ran.

In your shoes, I wouldn't.

You're "not long out of a 17 year relationship" and, whilst it won't feel like it, you will be vulnerable at the moment.

I'd let the dust settle and find someone it wouldnt be 'super awkward' with.

I've been in your shoes. I just told myself it was my brain's way of safely exploring that side of myself/my life again and it wasn't real. A bit like having a crush on a teacher. And I was right. 12 months later, well, let's just say I was glad I hadn't sent that message 😉

What’s the rush?

Just enjoy chatting/getting to know him better in person when you get the chance and see where it goes.

Do you know he's definitely single?

Amazing replies! Thank you. Not entirely 100% sure he's single, talks as if he is but maybe he does that because it keeps the mums guessing. Definitely won't text him. Probably won't be seeing him again until March when my class goes again. You're right newly single, probably am very vulnerable. Just need to enjoy my new freedom.

Thank you all for your replies. ☺️

I'd ask him if he was single. Just that. Not asking him for a date, not putting yourself out there, just a gentle, slightly nuanced friendly question. Things will go from there, if you're compatible, and safely stop if there's a reason why you shouldn't be together (like, he has a wife or he doesn't fancy you, or he turns out to have bad breath when you get really near him, etc...)