Abusive husband makes me feel ill

[madelinesaving]

My relationship with my husband is horrendous. We’ve been together for 20+ years. It is toxic and I can’t think of a time when it’s been good. Today, I have endured 12 hours of him harassing me, verbally abusing me, shouting at me and following me round the house. I was working from home and on a tight deadline but he has literally bullied me for 12 hours straight. He’s come back from a run to say he wants to talk about ending things and I said not tonight after todays hell (I’ve not eaten and feel ill) but let’s do it Thurs when I’m off. He continued with verbal abuse.
my youngest (5) still sleeps in our bed and my husband has just come into the room in the dark and threw a cup of water over me. It covered me, the bed and my son. I feel so bad for my boy.
The relationship is over but I’m so scared about my future. I work part time and there’s no way I could afford a mortgage or rent in this economic environment. Could I make him leave the home? It’s joint mortgage. I feel like his emotional abuse has had a negative effect on my confidence and mental health that I’m scared I’ll crumble.

He has assaulted both you and your child after 12 hours of abuse.

Call the police for goodness sake.

Your poor children.

How terrifying for you all.

He sounds unhinged.

Call the police.

And Women's aid.

Are you able to record some of the verbal abuse? You could then have evidence for the police.

Please don’t think of yourself as a burden. You’re their daughter and I’d reach out to them… think whether you’d want your children to reach out to you if they were in your position.

Please ring police

Please

For the sake of your kids at the very least

Very sorry to hear you are having to deal with this. You are very strong to have dealt with so much already.

Phone women's aid. Good luck to you X

Please call the police, it will escalate.

Now is the time when you can or get someone close to do it and send them round

Get this fcker removed

I waited til too late and the police often said
Why you reporting now and not back then blah blah

Please don't subject innocent kids to this
Pls

Youre better than me i wouldve pushed him down the stairs already
You should calll the police and make sure he never gets shared custody..

Tonight, as in right now: call 999 - ask police to remove him from the home
Tomorrow: call Women Aid; ask about getting an occupation order and a molestation order
Weekend: collect all financial documentation
Next week: see an experienced family solicitor

Yes

That's how many now say I g this

A fckwit like this can't get shared custody as you will have proof now of the abuse

The system is fcked but they do protect us in many ways

Do not subject innocent kids to this pls

Your poor little boy! How scary and confusing for him. Heartbreaking to read.

Do it for them OP. Get the police involved, document everything, and get the cruel bastard out and away from you and your little ones.

I hope you are ok op.

Call the police and have him removed.

What an utter piece of shit.

Sending love to you and your dc.

Your parents want you to be happy, they would be more stressed learning in the future you went through this alone.

Give them a chance to help, please.

Find a solicitor local to you who accepts legal aid. Go to the Law Society - Find a Solicitor website. Then tick the box for "accepts legal aid". Make an appointment with a family solicitor who can advise you. And please go to your parents for help and somewhere to go. You are not a burden. You are their child and however old you are, they will always want to protect you.

AFAIK, to qualify for legal aid, the abusive needs to be documented.

I hope you called the police,@madelinesaving

Find a friend or relative who will put you up then pack up and leave him. Your son had water chucked over him in bed, wtf?! He would be out the door with his bags packed. This man is a bully and you can’t let your kids live like this any more.

Yes that's right. Domestic abuse victims are entitled to legal aid. But not all solicitors do legal aid.

First things first

Police
Remove him
Womens aid

Then worry about solicitors
Many won't charge at the start and there are payment plans

@madelinesaving

You can't avoid this conversation you need to have it.

Let this horrible man go once and for all.

Even contact women's aid they are really good.

Hi OP - how are you - you are in a terrible situation - the fear and trauma you are experiencing is impacting you and your children. He’s abusive - does he work and does he present this way to others - I doubt it - I reported my ex to the police and he was arrested - he was given an injunction whilst on bail not to come anywhere near me - when it court I was awarded a restraining order for life. He pulled my hair - you are experiencing abuse op - I actually reported it as I did not want my son being brought up in the environment I was and the impact it had on me.
It would help to start letting others know. 🌺🌺

My friends in universal credits and works 18 hours a week and she is quite comfortable infact she's got more money now and is renting.

I sympathise with you I've had a 18 month relationship with a very abusive man. The lies and games that man brought to my life. I dumped him back in spring and things emotionally got worse before they got better.

You probably could do with some therapy. I had 8 sessions and it really helped me understanding things.

Is there family you can reach out too? You will be very unwell living with a cluster n type or any sort of abuser. It's not easy. Sending you a hug