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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

French morrocan boyfriend

37 replies

Holycamoly · 22/11/2022 22:09

Hi does anyone know if my daughters boyfriend can come to us in the uk on a visa and do his French job remotely? I am not up to speed on any of this and think maybe a visitors visa. He hasn't got a remote job as yet but is hoping to be able to do that. He wants to settle with her in the uk but not sure if he is qualified and I would rather they spent some time with each other first but he needs to earn money. Thank you

OP posts:

SisterGeorgeMichael · 23/11/2022 11:34

He needs to get a job first. Your daughter shouldn't let him move in before she knows if he's a cocklodger or not

He's got a job.

titchy · 23/11/2022 12:23

SisterGeorgeMichael · 23/11/2022 11:34

He needs to get a job first. Your daughter shouldn't let him move in before she knows if he's a cocklodger or not

He's got a job.

Not in the UK...

Whichwhatnow · 23/11/2022 12:43

Ffs some of these comments. This is not a 70 year old woman falling for a 20 year old waiter like something from Take a Break. People from different cultures can fall in love and it be genuine. I did and got the same bullshit about him using me.

Sorry OP, no help on the visa side of things but the automatic distrust of people from other (poorer...) countries from some posters is terrible. Also I lived in Morocco for quite some time and the cultural difference is really not that massive. Hope things work out for your daughter!

fruitbrewhaha · 23/11/2022 12:46

It's a bit weird that you are trying to find this out for him. He's an adult and knows more about his particular situation than you.

I often dream of moving abroad and there is a wealth of info on facebook groups for British expats regarding visas and other admin involved in emigrating, I'd be surprised if there isn't a french group for people heading the other direction. Or the embassy.

Venetiaparties · 23/11/2022 13:05

I think she should move in with him there, it would be so much easier. His chances are extremely low of getting a visa here unless they can prove they are legally married and have been together for a fixed amount of time.

Have you discussed with her the traditions of marriage there, and the realities of her life as a wife? Have you explored what this will do to her rights as a woman? And her future freedoms? The freedom of any future grandchildren?
Is she prepared fully with her eyes wide open?
Given how serious this is now getting, I would want to be talking to her about all of this and more.

One thing to fall in love, perfectly natural, quite another to make the commitments she will need to, to keep him in her life.

SisterGeorgeMichael · 23/11/2022 14:06

Not in the UK...

No but the op says he wants to work remotely. At his job.

FluffyFlower · 23/11/2022 14:15

But he can't really work on a visitor visa? He needs to find a U.K. based job first , which will then apply for a work visa for him. You can't work on a visitor visa which I assume also means you only stay 180 days in the country

SisterGeorgeMichael · 23/11/2022 14:31

But she's asking about visas, that's what she's asking.

titchy · 23/11/2022 18:10

This is the list of jobs where we're happy to issue visas if he has experience in any of these (could he get experience as a care worker?) https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/skilled-worker-visa-shortage-occupations/skilled-worker-visa-shortage-occupations

hugznotdrugz · 23/11/2022 18:19

The uk visa process is expensive and frustrating- it's really not a straight forward thing

Original poster

Holycamoly · 23/11/2022 23:11

What a lovely message to read newusername so good to hear and yes I can quite imagine the comments they got all those years ago! That's lovely and thank you I think she may well have found the one

OP posts:

Original poster

Holycamoly · 23/11/2022 23:23

I appreciate most of the comments and advice. I understand this situation makes people a little suspicious etc. In answer to a question they are both looking into this I am just doing the mum thing and also putting out questions myself I'm using a new username as lost my passwords etc but years ago mumsnet has been a help with running stuff by people I like to hear different views.
in answer to a previous question I am not totally sure how much her life would change and that of her children being in a relationship or marriage with this man he has different cultural views of course but she's never been in a relationship with such a caring kind and thoughtful man before. I've seen her past relationships and this is totally different there's so much care and respect both ways it's a joy to watch. Any way ultimately they will decide what they are doing not me I am just trying to gain any info or advice to pass onto them. I will take all the helpful info you have kindly taken the time to post and let them see it. I'm wondering if they should both save like crazy so that he can come over for 6 months and probably won't be able to work remotely but can spend that time looking for work with money behind them. The worry is he will then have to go back and I am yet to find out if that means it may affect him then trying for some kind of work visa after that.

OP posts:

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