Selfish friends or me?

[Dolly2288]

not sure if I’m being selfish here but need some perspective and opinions please, has anyone had friends or so called friends that just hasn’t bothered coming to see your baby or bring them a token. And I think back to all the effort I’ve made with friends kids, Xmas, birthdays etc for the effort not to be returned for any of those events for my baby. It’s making me bitter.

Bookmark

Depends how old your baby is - in all fairness before I had kids I’d be round in the first couple of weeks, now I’ve had 4 kids I’d defo wait to go and see a friends baby, the first few weeks you’re best off being left alone! Well I was anyway 🤣

She's 4 months. I just feel gutted for her but probably my hormones too.

Is your first baby? It makes all the difference if it's a 2nd baby ++

I think that's horrible of your friends. Even if they're not interested in baby snuggles then what's wrong with popping in to see if you need any support?

Yes it's my first and I just think back to all the effort I put in for all the kids round me for birthday Xmas, baby showers Easter etc and I could kick myself because the effort will never be returned for my little girl

That's not very nice at all... a first new baby is a huge life occasion to celebrate with your friends!

They should know better too, being parents themselves and it being your first, how important it is just to visit and show support never mind gifts even though they should reciprocate!

Poor you OP.

Are they supportive and communicative though?

It's thoughtless.

Did the friends you're thinking of visit each other when they had babies? It's much easier for a person without children in tow to do the rounds so it might just have been you whilst those with kids didn't do the same.

Are your friends in contact with you? Showing an interest and asking how you're doing?

I do think the way you are thinking isn't useful to you. It was your choice to make a fuss over them, why did you do it? Because you love and support them? Or because you were really into babies? Or because you were storing up credits for when you had your own?

They are thoughtless, they should know you well enough to realise you'd want them to fuss over you. Your choice how you react but don't let it taint this special time with your baby.

Yes it's my first baby. Maybe it's cause I'm the last of the group at 34 to have my first baby they've all had theirs and are done. I didn't do it to store credits I done it cause it's what we all done but seemingly it's my turn now and the majority can't be bothered.
Supportive not particularly they were excited in the first week but that's about it it soon dwindled. Like I had one "friend" who needed to know her name while I was in hospital cause she was getting something personalised for her anyway low and behold it was a baby grow with a flower on.