Irritating traits

[falalalalaaaa]

DM is a lovely person. Kind, generous and adores my children.

She does however have some irritating traits which make it hard for us to spend quality time together.

She has a habit of repeating whatever I tell her. Not just general stuff, but things about my children, which I find a bit odd.

Nothing super personal but still things I'd rather her not share. I don't think I could guarantee she'd not repeat personal stuff tbh. I have to explicitly tell her do not repeat this.

She also loves to gossip about people. My aunties, SILs, other family members/friends even random strangers. I don't like this and don't engage but I feel disappointed whenever it happens. It feels so judgemental.

I try not to overshare with her, especially about DH etc, because any sniff of drama and she's all over it. This makes me sad. I want to relate to her on a deeper level as I love her so much.

Any suggestions?

Don't over share with her or indulge her gossip if you don't like it. You can still have a good relationship surely?

It's hard when that's a large part of the conversation.

She's my mum I want to be able to tell her things and confide in her without having to check myself so I don't share too much.

We do have a good relationship on the whole. This just spoils it a little bit

If this is the habit of decades I'm afraid that you aren't going to be able to change it. Sometimes, sadly, you have to accept that your parent is flawed and those flaws mean that you need to be just a bit careful. It's a shame, but you can't change another person. All you can do is resolve not to be like that yourself.

@ReleaseTheDucksOfWar thank you, that's a lovely way of putting it