Questioning our relationship

[Lslm857]

My partner and I have been together for 2 years and we have a 9 month old baby. We obviously had a baby quite soon after getting together but we were madly in love with each other, and no part of me regrets having her at all!!

At the moment we have been arguing a lot and seem to have more bad days than good. I get frustrated that he doesn’t do any housework without being asked, and even then he complains. He gets frustrated because he has a much higher sex drive than me. There’s quite a few things that keep bringing up the same arguments over and over.

Whenever we do try to have a conversation about something he gets incredibly defensive which makes it really difficult to resolve things.

I find myself wondering whether we should be together sometimes, and he opened up to me tonight saying that sometimes he feels like he’s just staying with me for our daughter, but that he does love me and want to be with me.

I don’t know whether these arguments and feelings are a normal part of having a new baby or if we just don’t have a good relationship.

@Lslm857

I think having a new baby can put strain on relationships. While your trying to adjust to being a new mum sometimes men obviously want sex and your exhausted.

He has been open with you. But you need to say if he only with you got your baby no point you being together.

Is it possible to get time together when baby sleeping.

Some men are quite remarkable in the way they don't or won't do their fair share of domestic work in the home, then wonder at why their partners are too tired and aggrieved to feel it in the bedroom. There's a direct correlation, if you didn't have to pick up his slack and felt supported by him, I'm sure things would go smoother. It's a common problem, still makes them wrong though.

@Opentooffers love your comment. Spot on

OP,

He's lazy and still expects you to be very fond of him.

The shine has gone off him.

Keep your job, financial independence and stay close to family and friends.

It is likely your relationship won't survive if he continues to be lazy, so protect yourself.

Do NOT get accidentally pregnant again as this would really compound your problems.

Mind yourself.

You need to have an urgent chat about managing each others expectations

what do you expect of him? Tell him explicitly and agree that he will be responsible for these tasks every week

re the child - agree together what he will do and make sure that you are both happy with the agreement

you could arm yourself with a list of everything you are doing then put his few things on a list to help drum it home how much you are doing

working 37 hours a week does not mean you get to live your life responsibility free once homes that would mean your responsibilities are 24/7

babies are hard work and test the best of relationships

but this is his new reality now and he needs to change and adjust his expectations of life!

Failing that what billy 1966 said