Too tired for sex

[Becky12123]

hi I wondered if women have experienced this much ? I have a bf aged 40, similar age to me. He seems constantly tired and I’m v lucky if we have sex once a week. We have only been going out 3 months, though knew each other years ago. I feel I’m always initiating only to get rejected. He maintains he is constantly tired. I find it knocks my confidence and I may as well buy a sex toy for me. How to approach this? I love him

yes, very much so and in active steps to work on it. including exercise supplements, finding helpful and positive Ways to decompress.

A hobby that encourages friendship and fitness to help with hormones and endorphins.

this is obviously with a willing partner

My dp seems very similar in terms of levels of tiredness/energy.
He knows he should go the drs but is reluctant. He was getting annoyed at me nagging him to go. It's only since I pointed out that it's not only impacting him but also me and our relationship that he seems to be taking it (slightly) more seriously and has agreed to seek help. He was single for 6 years previously so I think he's still adapting to not being in his own little world.

I brought up the lack of sex twice now. The first time I was quite emotional and feeling rejected. I think he thought I was "having a go" and saying I wasn't satisfied and he got quite defensive.

2nd time was much better, we had a much longer talk where I explained that I wasn't "unsatisfied" as such, I explained that when we do have sex it's amazing and focused more on that I felt undesirable/unattractive and it was impacting my self esteem. I think he genuinely hadn't realised how it was impacting me and he had thought the issue was only about the amount of times we physically had sex. He acknowledged he wasn't the best at communicating about it and would make more effort. We talked about his health/energy in general and he provided a lot of reassurance it wasn't anything personal, he just has a lower drive and would be like that with Angelina jolie😂We've been talking much more openly. I'd actually be ok with good quality sex once a week as long as I'm not feeling rejected/unwanted

Has he shown any interest in changing the situation? Does he want to fix the problem, or does he not see a problem?

I wonder how you would feel if your new partner wanted sex more than you did, and felt rejected because you needed to sleep when you needed to sleep?