Anyone else have an anxious attachment style and what has helped?

[Windyoo]

When I first meet someone I’m usually pretty avoidant and do not get invested very quickly but once I do I can become very anxious. I read a quote that stuck with me “you are only as secure as your last interaction” and that is so true for me. If I feel that my partner is off with me I really worry all day about it and read into their messages etc.
I hate that I feel like this and wish I could change. It’s funny because I don’t think as a person I am insecure but definitely when in a relationship I am.
i felt very secure when I was with my ex husband for 8 years, I don’t remember feeling like this with him.

I wasn't anxiously attached with my husband of 10 years...yet I am with my boyfriend of nearly two years. Makes no sense to me!?

Me too. I wasn't with my previous relationship yet I am now. I've read a lot about this whilst trying to help myself and experts seem to say it stems from childhood but I can actually pinpoint a situation in my current relationship that seemed to be the start of it. Like you say, I'm not usually an anxious person and am confident that I'm a loving, kind person who I think is quite nice to be in a relationship with but I've turned into a needy, anxious person which I know is unattractive.

I can only put it down to what he brings out in me ... 🙁

I thought i was anxiously attached, then i met my current bf... I just don't feel anxiety with him

I was anxiously attached to previous relationships, but not to my husband it who is now leaving me, so I am back in the abandonment cycle of fear and total despair. I watch Alan Robarge on youtube who works on attachment disorders, there is a lot to watch there and it does help. I trusted my husband to be with me always so the anxiety of attachment went away, looks like it was required after all, as this has broken me.

Me 🙋🏻‍♀️
Although with me it seems to happen regardless of the partner...even as a teen (I was actually at my worst then).
Im secure, confident and independent in general, it's only my romantic relationships that are affected and anyone that knows me seems surprised as I'm not generally an insecure person.

I've been reading about it a lot recently and a few other things really hit home. I'm a complete people pleaser and have been all my life and I also do too much to help partners so that I feel needed by them

The fact I've always been like this and was then married and my exH cheated when I was pregnant definitely didn't help! We'd been together for 10 years and I'd finally been feeling secure when that happened

Sorry this has happened to you @butterflyandbees 💐

Goodness @Windyoo I could have totally written this myself! I had zero issues with insecurity with my (now ex) husband, but have been with my boyfriend now for around 15 months and I’m, at times, an absolute wreck! He doesn’t give me any cause for concern, but I’m constantly going back through our messages for reassurance, always asking him if everything’s ok (when it totally is) and expecting every message or visit to be ‘the last one’ 🙁. I absolutely hate feeling like this and really hate overthinking everything and over analysing messages etc. I’m so sorry to all the PP’s who are going through this too. I’m sorry I have no answers, but I hear you, you’re not alone ❤️

There are some good books on Amazon about attachment styles. I’m anxiously attached but a lot due to previous relationships (I got cheated on). I go through phases when I need a lot of reassurance and then other times I’m not too bad, I get triggered by certain things and react with protest behaviours which are quite self sabotaging. But have read quite alot of great books which have helped alot!