Starting counselling but not because I think it’ll help me but to help my marriage

[Notgoingtohelp]

I have complex issues , multiple conditions and ptsd . Had therapy in the past. It never helped. What I need in all honesty is a Time Machine and to go back and change what happened to me somehow , which isn’t possible.

However … I’ve started counselling again purely because I need to lift the burden off dh. Currently I just seem to offload onto him each day and he has to deal with it and I know it’s not fair so I thought if I see a professional once a week I can offload to them meaning he doesn’t have the stress of me. It’s a long walk home after and I planned to get a coffee and just have that time as thinking and processing time so I can’t limit how much emotional baggage I’m putting onto dh.

Has anyone else done similar ? I know it won’t help me directly but I’m hoping it makes my relationship better ?

Everything is about perspective

what happened to you will have happened to others but perspective matters and it won’t have the same impact

i agree you should get help - it’s not usual to need to off load on a daily basis regarding things that have happened in the past

I’d go for more targeted therapy such as EMDR as currently you are living in the past - but you are stopping yourself from living in the present and as you know the future is a gift so definitely find a good therapist but not for your husband’s sake for your own sake and future

Part of me hopes that although I’m going into it purely so I’m offloading to a professional rather than dh that somehow it might end up helping me as well but I know that’s not a guarantee so it feels realistic to focus on the definite benefit of dh getting a break from it all