Ex refuses to speak to me

[stillvicarinatutu]

We were together 5 years and I got pg to him . He did t want the baby as she was disabled so I terminated, was awful and he disappeared at the time . No support at all.

The relationship was shit but we'd been friends before and I hoped we could be after but he dallied and while seeing his new girlfriend he carried on seeing me which I didn't know at the time .

He is now
Settled and happy I think - moved his gf in and her child who would have been the same age as ours .

I haven't met anyone else and have lived alone for almost 4 years.

Recently became disabled with athritis- ex is avid cyclist so I emailed him to
Ask if he could get my bike roadworthy to aid my recovery and physio.

I've had no reply at all. Nothing. I asked him if he did t want to help to just reply saying he couldn't - but I've had nothing. It's like I never existed. It's knocked me tbh . He wasn't a nice bloke and never did give his time for people for free but I just thought our history would mean something and he might want to help me get mobile .

I've never had a relationship since him - I'm fine alone - but now the athritis means I'm a little stuck at times . Cycling would help me and his hobby is cycling so I just thought I'd ask him.

Was I being a bit dim ? I'm still good friends with ex hubby so just thought maybe with the passage of time he may speak to me . He was always a selfish man , absolutely zero empathy, unable to relate to anything when we terminated his baby girl - he referred to her as "that" and "it" the entire time . He wouldn't carry her coffin at the funeral . He made me Ill with pelvic inflammatory disease because he wanted sex immediately after her birth even though I was bleeding. He called me an embarrassment to him for taking time off work after the termination. We worked together. No one else thought that just him . I got more support from colleagues. He disappeared for 6 weeks . Never called, visited , nothing. Ending it was the right thing to do but I thought after 4 years apart he might help me with my bike . Nothing back from him at all .

Just a bit sad .

Honestly OP, I'm really sorry for everything you've been through, but you can't just contact an ex of four years ago and expect them to do start doing jobs for you. It's been four years I thought you were going to say six months.

I know it's tough, but rather than saying, I can't get the bike in the car or I can't afford to pay someone, you need to look into viable solutions. Not behave like your ex of four years ago is the only solution.

Why would you even want anything to do with someone who treated you like that?

He doesn't owe you anything, and you don't him. You come across like you think he should be helping you because he was so bad to you in the past. There is no debt there to be paid. People can be arseholes in life and they just get away with it, it's a sad reality.

Delete his number and dont go there again, you'll be much happier for it in the long run. Its time for you both to move on and be happy

If you can't get it in your car, ring a taxi firm.

Yep I hear you .
I had better get googling and you tubing .

We had stayed in touch for about a year after we had split , contact dropped when I called him out after a night out with him where he ended up staying over . I found out he had been seeing someone else for 10 months. He said he wanted to be friends but I wasn't very receptive and said you don't treat friends like that ....and that was that .

I don't have his number , just an email and as I say , our paths do cross occasionally, and likely will do again at some point as we both do the same job though at different locations now .

It was a bad idea .