Can't forget about the best sex ever

IhateMattHancock · 20/11/2022 20:49

He is not protecting you. He used you.

DramaAlpaca · 20/11/2022 20:57

Exactly as pp said. He's using you. You can do much better.

badassbaby · 20/11/2022 20:59

Sausagedog31 · 20/11/2022 20:37

Seriously how do some men do it! They get into your head and under your skin. I wonder if there is that one person who can just do all the right things when having sex! It's been 5 years since I last met this bloke and I never forget thought about him loads but moved on. He stopped contacting me, ghosting I guess all those years ago. Fast forward to this year and he messaged me out of the blue! We started to hook up regularly it was exactly the same as it was before. No one has ever made me feel the way he did! 7 months later after he told me he loved me he has ghosted me again! He told me he had found a lump on his vocal chords and then he was gone! I don't know what to do. I've left him after a few messages he didn't respond too and he's blocked me so I get the message! I guess I really miss him and the sex but it's out of my hands! Just left with the memories again! I cannot help thinking he's trying to protect me but who knows I really need to move forward again!!!! So frustrating thinking what could have been.......

Protecting you?
He's dumped you.
Sorry x

Nowhereelsetogo90 · 20/11/2022 21:02

It’s hard but sometimes we have the best sex with people who aren’t very good for us!

OldFan · 20/11/2022 21:03

I watched the programme Sex/Life and honestly, I think it's evil. It's about a woman haunted by memories of her ex, and I became haunted by (romantic, not sexual) thoughts of one of my first loves.

What gradually helped me @Sausagedog31 is to remember all his flaws and unpleasant or daft things he did/said- you could do this with your one too.

Then finally I've got a handle on it this month by realizing the relationship was nothing but sin from end to end. Your's will've been too. These things have no value, quite the opposite. Think of it just as a stupid thing you did and won't again.

OldFan · 20/11/2022 21:05

It’s hard but sometimes we have the best sex with people who aren’t very good for us!

Yep. My best sex ever was with someone who also violently raped me.

Ludo19 · 20/11/2022 21:07

Christ @OldFan I'm so sorry this happened to you x

Oblomov22 · 20/11/2022 21:09

Are you serious? Great sex, but lacking in just about every other Dept? The fact you can't see that is presumably down to very poor self esteem?

actualnamechange · 20/11/2022 21:09

I cannot help thinking he's trying to protect me

What makes you think that?

P

Grooo · 20/11/2022 21:13

Ghosting you twice isn't protecting you, it's using you.
He's a scumbag that happens to be good at sex, block him back and don't go down this path again.

Igglepiggleslittletoe · 20/11/2022 21:17

You are romanticising things in your head to make yourself feel better. The saying 'If he wants you, you will know. If he doesnt you will feel confused' speaks volumes. He is using you.

SquirrelSoShiny · 20/11/2022 21:18

Grooo · 20/11/2022 21:13

Ghosting you twice isn't protecting you, it's using you.
He's a scumbag that happens to be good at sex, block him back and don't go down this path again.

This.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 20/11/2022 21:20

There's no shortage of cock OP, and TBH there's a lot of guys who are good at sex, if you're good at telling them what you like.

Guys who are good at sex AND good in relationships? That's rarer.

Soothsayer1 · 20/11/2022 21:24

he knows it can make you feel addicted to him & that feeds his ego

OldFan · 20/11/2022 21:34

Thanks Ludo- shit happens I guess.

@Sausagedog31 He's been awful, try and keep your view of him clear.

user19888891 · 20/11/2022 21:51

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 20/11/2022 21:20

There's no shortage of cock OP, and TBH there's a lot of guys who are good at sex, if you're good at telling them what you like.

Guys who are good at sex AND good in relationships? That's rarer.

This. And you won’t find someone good at sex and in relationships if you keep going back to this man.
Its nice to have memories of amazing sex but sometimes they have to stay memories and nothing more

Iknowforsure1 · 20/11/2022 22:16

It’s obvious that he’s not a relationship material, but may I ask, what is he doing so special? Is it chemistry or his own techniques or his anatomy? What makes the magic?

DarkShade · 20/11/2022 22:20

@Iknowforsure1 You taking notes, eh? 😁

OP I think the way to get over these things is try to reframe - you experienced the great sex with him, that can now live in your head for as long as you like, you got to have this experience that you value. But it luckily for you didn't come at the cost of a lifetime with this unsuitable guy. Win.

Soothsayer1 · 20/11/2022 22:27

ime the ones who tried the hardest were the ones with precarious living arrangements who were eyeing up my cosy nest....when they realised the last thing I wanted was someone living with me the sex supply dried up, it was just an means to an end, wannabe cocklodger I guess?

Hawkins001 · 20/11/2022 22:30

Sausagedog31 · 20/11/2022 20:37

Seriously how do some men do it! They get into your head and under your skin. I wonder if there is that one person who can just do all the right things when having sex! It's been 5 years since I last met this bloke and I never forget thought about him loads but moved on. He stopped contacting me, ghosting I guess all those years ago. Fast forward to this year and he messaged me out of the blue! We started to hook up regularly it was exactly the same as it was before. No one has ever made me feel the way he did! 7 months later after he told me he loved me he has ghosted me again! He told me he had found a lump on his vocal chords and then he was gone! I don't know what to do. I've left him after a few messages he didn't respond too and he's blocked me so I get the message! I guess I really miss him and the sex but it's out of my hands! Just left with the memories again! I cannot help thinking he's trying to protect me but who knows I really need to move forward again!!!! So frustrating thinking what could have been.......

I'm in the same boat so to speak, my gut feeling seems one thing, but logic is another, and yet it's a pickle, certainly does not make any sense, unless my instincts are correct.

YesNoYesNoYesNoYesMaybe · 20/11/2022 23:06

Sounds to me like he was in a five year relationship that ended, then used you until he either a) rekindled previous relationship or b) entered a new one. Either way blocked you to stop your messages flashing up and his girlfriend seeing. Prick.

Mama2023 · 20/11/2022 23:10

Sounds identical to someone I know whose name starts with M!

Pipsickl · 20/11/2022 23:36

Do you reckon he is married?

Tothepoint99 · 20/11/2022 23:42

DarkShade · 20/11/2022 22:20

@Iknowforsure1 You taking notes, eh? 😁

OP I think the way to get over these things is try to reframe - you experienced the great sex with him, that can now live in your head for as long as you like, you got to have this experience that you value. But it luckily for you didn't come at the cost of a lifetime with this unsuitable guy. Win.

Hopefully yes! And I'd like a copy of said notes 🤣

RosaCaramella · 21/11/2022 02:38

As some others have said, make the most of the memories! He is likely just a player, getting off on ghosting and keeping you (and probably hundreds of other women) hanging on for more.