People on here with no family and friends

[BoobsAhoy]

This seems really common on mumsnet. More than I’d see from my real life experience of colleagues and friends (which I suppose is the point)

how do you get to the point when you have no one around? But obv have a partner.

How did you meet? Did you lose friends because of the relationship / control? Do you not like any of your family ?

Both parents died before I was 40.im an only child who was adopted and after my mum died the only relatives left were cousins of my parents who never considered me real family as I wasn't blood related. No children of my own. So I have no family at all. Friends, I have some but no really close friends as I moved due to ex husbands violence. Its lonely.

My family had all died by my early 30s. All of them - I had no living relatives at all. Is that the sort of thing you mean?

It happens, and I'm surprised that you would think it unusual.

I have a very small family and always felt like the black sheep. Difficult relationship with mother, father now elderly and ill. I'm always last to know things or be invited to family gatherings and then they wonder why I distance myself.

I ditched my longest, closest friends a few months back when I realised it was so toxic being in that group. I was getting used etc. I've always been an introvert deep down but alcohol probably masked this so I'm now embracing it which my supposed friends never did.

The friends who do 'get' me are now getting married and having babies so I don't see them as much as they have bigger priorities. Which is fine, it's making me embrace being alone and focussing on other areas of my life.

Once I lose my lockdown weight gain I might dip my toe into dating.

I moved countries so even if I liked my family,it wouldn't help.

Friends, I've had a few but life got in the way,jobs,kids,moving away etc. Plus we all work so can't really expect them to take a day off work or risk getting ill because they looked after my child.

Somehow I seem to have ended up a bit like this, despite living in the same town for 25 years!

• parents dead
• sibling (much older) 400 miles away
• kids left home
• 'friendships' centred around kids' schools and their friends pretty much disappeared

I'm mid 50s, not working, and find most of my peers are busy still with work/ caring for elderly parents or the end of the children at home years. I have friends I do stuff with (book groups, hiking, cinema trips etc) but not really any I would call close friends I would expect to rely on. Dh doesn't bring any friends into my life - all his friends are the partners of MY 'friends' (which can be an issue)

-abusive family to abusive partner pipeline
-abusive partner twisted the ear of all my friends
-met new partner at an event
-moved away for work, new partner supportive but obviously not close enough to new event friends that we kept in touch
-covid happened soon as I moved
-lost job bc covid
-hard to meet new people with no money or childcare.

I’m rebuilding now and have some good friends but it’s not that hard to imagine particularly given we’ve only recently had lockdowns preventing socialisation.

I have no contact with my family. They're toxic. But it didn't happen over night. It took decades to stretch the family ties to breaking point. Every toxic flare up drove me further and further away. The brexit referendum was the catalyst for finally completely severing the relationships.