Flaky friends

[TatumHigh]

Yet again I have been cancelled on tonight.

When it happens occasionally with different friends, I'm truly understanding.

Tonight's cancelling friend, it's the fifth time in about 3 months. Mostly down to her husband/children's social life getting priority over her social life, so any plans she has get shelved last minute if husband decides he's going out, so she has to babysit.

I've been round her house several times and it's not uncommon for me to get kicked out as husband tells her he can't settle the kids, so she rushes off to them.

I'm truly pissed off tonight. I thought my "friend" knew today was an emotional day for me, so I wanted to keep busy. To cancel on me 3 hours before we're due to meet, and to make the message all about her and her (perceived) difficulties as to why she can't come out has really hacked me off.

Fwiw, I'm a very chilled understanding person who loves her friends dearly. This particular friend I have supported through crap big and small, and rarely asked the same of them, as I am more resilient against the small things.

I'm thinking it's time to ditch this one. I love her dearly, but i'm truly fed up with being cancelled on. I've spoken to her about it before, but it's always her husband's fault in her eyes.

Am I being unreasonable...do you tolerate flaky friends? Or do you ditch when you get to this point?

I don’t blame you.

I wouldn’t necessarily ditch the friend all together, hope f she’s part of a wider group then going forward I’d only arrange to see this friend as part of a group get together.

If she says anything about making 1:1 plans I’d tell her straight “no thanks, you keep cancelling on me”.

Hi op yeh Im feeling the same. My friend cancelled on me never re arranged it. Im thinking now Im done with crap. Its def a pattern with people. Arranging coffees/chasing it up. Then will they show. Flaky ladies lol

I would ditch after a period of time or as pp say only see with group situations so if she flakes you've got the group. I feel the same about a friend who I suspect her OH is slightly controlling but that's not my responsibility if she can't give me a little bit of time when I need it. It sounds like you've been as patient as you can x

I wouldn’t necessarily ‘ditch’ her but I’d stop making arrangements with her. Obviously that might prove to be the same thing!

Couldn't agree more. Shut down any suggestions of 1:1 time in the future. You can't rely on this woman and you need to protect yourself from the relentless let-downs.

Agree that I'd stop arranging 1:1 stuff with her. Do you have shared friends?

The ironic thing is that we decided together to see each other 1:1, as we were fed up with the third friend in our friendship group repeatedly cancelling on us 🤦