How to accept the financial blow of being single with kids?

[FluffyWorm]

Been married 7 years.. Have two children 7 and 3. We are breaking up ..initiated by him but deep down I can see that the relationship can't work between us.

I think it's going to be really important for me to be single and happy without another relationship for a while. I need to get out there and make new friends and rebuild my life. I'm feeling quite positive about this...

...but financially it's really bugs me that I will be so much worse off being single. I absolutely do not want to enter into a relationship because I know it will financially help me. But how do I keep that out of my mind?

Will you be worse off? Have you done the maths? Do you work? How much maintenance will he be paying? Who is keeping the house? Have you checked what benefits you will be entitled to?

Do not enter into a relationship for financial reasons that is madness.

Will you be worse off? Yes

Have you done the maths? Yes

Do you work? Yes

How much maintenance will he be paying? What he needs to based on maintenance calculator.

Who is keeping the house? We are selling it. He will get 30/40% of the equity.

Have you checked what benefits you will be entitled to? Yes

Do not enter into a relationship for financial reasons that is madness. I know

I am so much better off on my own. When I was with my ex I had nothing, all my money went on childcare and bills, he paid his part too but earned so much more than me so had disposable left which I never saw. We were never a 'team' part of the reason we split. Anyway I retrained as a nurse and even on my shitty nurses wage and UC top ups I managed to buy us a wee house and we are comfortable. My ex and I are 50/50 so no maintenance but it does mean I can work almost full time and hopefully one day won't rely on UC top ups.

Yes I have a partner, we've been together over 6 years but dont live together but he does pay for treats like holidays and days out. I love being financially independent altho it's Def a bit scary just now!!!

It can be done xx

Thanks for sharing that @Augustlou30 sounds like a nice set up

Well I get zero maintenance and still manage so it’s doable, you haven’t even left yet shouldn’t even be thinking about a new relationship and definitely not for financial reasons 🤨 it’s 6 years down the line for me and I’m still single.

I think it's a bit unrealistic to not even think about a new relationship. I feel like I have to think about the future to help me get through the shit present. I have said quite clearly in the post that I am looking forward to rebuilding my life and establishing myself being single.