Been with dp for 5 years. We don't live together (I have a dd -16 - from another relationship and didn't want to upset the existing, stable family dynamic we have). She's likely to go off to uni in 2 years and I guess, on the cards, will be a discussion about whether me and dp then live together. We see each other just at weekends. He lives 40 miles away and it's mostly been him coming to my place. In the early days, I did visit him but my 3 bedroomed house is just a nicer place to live for those 3 days. It's bigger (we need that space with 3 adults knocking around); is set up like a home (as opposed to a one bedroomed bachelor flat) and - here's the main thing, and the reason I'm posting - is cleaner.
In many many ways, he's a great partner. However, he has zero interest in making his flat nice. The other week, I unexpectedly dropped in on the way to somewhere else to drop something off. His flat was disgusting. Dirty dishes everywhere. Dust. Skirting boards filthy (I swear he's never cleaned them). Radiators have peeling paint. He's never bothered to repaint them. He earns the same as me (about 2k/month) and is not short of money.
His accommodation is social housing, which I know isn't the best constructed so that doesn't help but I worry that his standards are much lower than mine re cleaning. Don't get me wrong, I don't have show home standards. I vacuum once a week at most, dust even less. The difference though between his and my home was stark. I was a bit shocked to be honest.
Does this sound like a compatibility issue or has anyone's dp changed their cleaning standards once living together? He's 39, so those habits have been there for some time. It's making me re-evaluate our future tbh.