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Relationships

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Tell me about life after separation?

3 replies

Blossom4538 · 18/11/2022 20:48

How did you find it? Was it very hard, lonely? Did you feel relieved or liberated?

Mostly interested in marriages which weren’t too traumatic/no cheating - just ran it’s course really. Those with children too. Did you have regrets?

Im in my 40s and worried sick!

Did you start dating again or find someone else eventually? How did you meet?

i feel so sad at the moment, I just don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
B1rd · 18/11/2022 22:33

6 years of dating and have come across scammers, catfish and the unsavoury.
I've felt completely lonely at times.

Is there a reason you can't make your marriage work?

sagalooshoe · 18/11/2022 22:39

Calm, peaceful, easier and much better quality sleep! My friends call on me loads more which is nice as I suppose they know they aren't interrupting anything. I have more quality time with my child as I am not constantly distracted by the need to improve or change my situation.

spacewomanonearth · 18/11/2022 22:57

I'm divorced, but no children. 40s.
My life is better in almost every way. Divorce was a real liberation for me, I was so lonely and unloved in my longish marriage.

I now have much more interesting career and weirdly feel much wealthier (he earned a lot more than me, but also didn't share 'his' money). I have all the freedom I crave and I feel I'm not standing in his shadow anymore and I can finally grow.

However for me dating is an issue. I don't think I'm perfect by any means, but don't go out in the evenings, and if I do it's always with partnered up or older women, and I never meet guys when I'm out.
I've tried OLD and it was an eye-opener. Luckily none of the horrible experiences that you hear about, more that I felt I was dating amongst the 'best' men in my age category, and they were all disappointing in that none of them were remotely relationship material for me. Some nice experiences, but the idea that it was a place to find a long term partner seems unlikely to me. I'm sure I wasn't what a lot of guys are longing for either, I'm fairly pretty & feminine looking. Then I disappoint them by opening my mouth with my opinions. I am healthy and lots of love to give and I'd love a regular sex life with someone I cared about, ONS are not for me as I've missed the boat for young hot men (not interested in going down that road at my age).

Never say never, but after 4 years of being single (luckily have had some sex in that time!) I am beginning to understand this might be it for me and I'll never have that 'big love' or live with a man again (not interested in being a nurse with a purse when all the Peter Pans hit retirement!)

That feels significant to me as I'd always had a boyfriend/partner and didn't imagine I'd spend most of my life alone (I know it's only been 4 years, but I'm enjoying my own space and the bar is just getting higher and higher for any potential suitor!)

But overall life is so much better and I feel genuinely happy and excited about the future.

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