On reflection..

[TheWorldisaStage]

Are there any fairly important/major issues in your life that at the time they happened, you were just not in a good place to deal with them e.g. emotionally or overwhelmed by other issues going on at that time or too snowed under with other work/child commitments etc. I'm thinking about issues that were detrimental to you at the time or adverse consequences going forward long term. In other words "I can't face this right now!", so just left it until it was too late and still suffering the consequences of your inaction. Mine is to do with a car crash (13 years ago) that caused seemingly minor physical repercussions at the time but slowly got worse over the years and is now pretty debilitating. At the time I accepted the compensation for my car being written off but couldn't cope with the whole, long drawn out injury claim as it seemed minor at the time. I didn't forsee the slowly developing long term issues that would subsequently occur.
Not looking for advice. Just wondered if anyone else had suffered longterm consequences due to something that they didn't deal with at the time due to whatever reason, and therefore have now the ship has sailed..

No I haven’t, but have you considered following up on it now? It might be worth chatting to a lawyer who specialises in injury claims.

Looked into it but too complex and risky financially!
Thanks for replying though but mainly just wondering if anyone else has had similar regrets over not dealing with issues when they originally arose!

I think everyone has in one way or another! We all say “I wish I’d done…” or “I should have done…” after the event.

It’s from these experiences we learn to be more in the moment and proactive and assertive in the future. Live for the moment. Take the bull by the horns. You snooze you lose. If you don’t ask you won’t get. (I’m sure there’s more) but all these sayings didn’t come about by doing exactly what we wish we’d done at the time we should have done it.

One thing I take away from the decision of inaction is that I can’t have wanted [whatever] enough at the time to try to make it happen. Until after the event when I'm kicking myself I didn't go for it and then the choice is try again or accept the opportunity has passed and cut my losses.

@DatingDinosaur Thank you for such a wise, thoughtful response. I thought I was the only one to beat myself up over things I should have addressed at the time but was mentally/emotionally unable to, resulting in still being affected years later by the repercussions of my inaction..

Maybe staying for years in an unhappy marriage through fear is a good example..

I have, I should have sued an old employer, their actions and inactions absolutely screwed my mental health and I should have followed it up. Instead I was so glad to get out of there, and was so unwell by the time I left, that I let it drop. If I had my time again I would deal with it very differently.

I thought I was the only one to beat myself up over things I should have addressed at the time

Maybe you could focus on why you beat yourself up, rather than whether other people beat themselves up too? You're looking from external validation ('Don't worry, we all do it, you're normal'), where self validation might serve you better ('I made a mistake and that's fine. Totally understandable. No need to worry about it anymore, it's the past, and I live in the present')

Come from the standpoint that you're normal, and not doing anything out of the ordinary. Then you can start to heal and move forwards, rather than being stuck.

@Watchkeys Yes I hear you and I agree. It just intermittently it hits me when I have a bad (healthwise) day. And we do all need validation from time to time that we are not the only! Oh as well as an occasional rant!