My DH has a long history of depression. He had a tough childhood. Sometimes but rarely this manifests as anger at me though only verbal and something he witnessed in his parents relationship. Pre children he would sleep at lot during episodes but now that’s not something we can do. He had a major breakdown two years ago and was under crisis care and he has been a lot better.
The other week though he took to his bed and didn’t make proper arrangements for our children to be collected from childcare. I told him this was unacceptable and he agreed and apologised and was back to normal. Last night an innocuous conversation led to him going to be and shouting at me this morning followed by shitty texts today. He has twisted
the conversation so he can blame me. I feel almost gaslighted.
I told him I was close to ending the relationship after he shouted at me earlier this year but I’m terrified he will self harm and not as a manipulative measure. I read his notes from the breakdown and I can see he was suicidal then. But what price do I put in my own mental health ( I’m anxious at any mood change he has) and the environment our children grow up in? We are starting to mirror how he grew up and that’s been a huge factor in his own depression. He’s had therapy but nothing has helped.
I feel very very guilty about the children and that I have not done enough to help him or it’s not that bad. Has anyone left a depressed partner when they had small children, how did it work out?