How to tell DH I want a divorce?

[Bookaholic73]

We've been married for only 3 years. Rushed into it, and regret it.

He lies about so much, especially money. He has lots of history of gambling, getting into debt, not paying debt off etc.
I’m so sick of worrying about the post coming through the door because he is getting letters from debt companies.

I found out about the gambling last year and we had a break for a few weeks. I took him back and he promised it wouldn’t continue.

I’m done, and want it to end.
No kids together, we live in a rented house and only my name is on the tenancy.

He is due home from work this evening. I want it over. How do I tell him?

I don’t want arguments, I don’t want drama, I just want him gone.

Anyone?

Ring a solicitor and get some advice.

Some of the language you're using suggests you don't really understand divorce as in what rights you both have. You need to gen up fast.

Start getting paperwork together and get some legal advice, particularly around the debts

Book to see a solicitor and get advice before you tell him. You need to find out your liability for his current debt and how you stop that from increasing once you tell him it's over. Luckily you have no children so can get a clean break. Good luck x

Thank you, I’ll get in touch with a solicitor ASAP.

OK, I have spoken to a solicitor. Managed to get a quick appointment.
She has said that as long as none of his debts are in my name, I won’t be liable.
BUT, she advised me to get his name taken off the council tax ASAP.
I’ll do this tomorrow.

She also mentioned contacting a credit reference agency and seeing if I can be separated from my husband as far as my address is concerned, once he has moved out.

I also think I need to get his name off the car insurance, close down the joint account, and that’s as far as I’ve thought so far.

My ex husband ran up debts in his name only. That was not the advice I got. Assets and debts were joint. We were married a lot longer and thankfully he agreed not to make me responsible.

Ignore my post a quick Google search says you're not responsible as long as the debt is in their name only.

Yes, luckily none of his debt is in my name. Just his name only.

I always thought I’d be liable for half, since we are married, but apparently not.

Debts incurred during the course of a marriage can be taken into account during the division of assets and treated as joint even though they may be in the name of only one spouse. I believe that they can also take into account the nature of the debt in deciding this so gambling debts may be treated differently to debts incurred to pay for household items for example.

Your solicitor is right that you are not liable for his debts (so the companies to whom he owes money cannot pursue you for the debts) but if you were in a situation where you had assets like house equity, pensions, savings etc the divorce settlement could take the debts into account and you could find yourself receiving less than you might otherwise because the debts are in the balance sheet as it were. I think that's where the belief comes in, that debts are joint once married.

The divorce itself should be a piece of cake. Easy clean break with no shared property ownership or kids. Telling him much harder but you're just going to have to bite the bullet. Maybe have an exit strategy first?

Get a solid friend or relative over.

Tell him "This relationship is over, you need to leave"

Don't argue. You don't have to fight or engage in any drama.

Change the locks.

Don't change the locks. He has the same right to live there.

If you can, cushion the blow to one another. It will make the rest easier.

My wife didn't and I had to fight her every step of the way to prevent myself being turned into a bedsit dwelling cash machine for her benefit (for the kids of course, it's always for the kids that their life shouldn't change but yours should!) I would have been much more generous to her but in the end she was so grabby that I negotiated very hard, egged her on to spend all her capital on legal fees in a case I knew she couldn't win and constantly sent her solicitor letters asking why she wasn't working/maximising her earning capacity.

From the op

"I’m done, and want it to end.
No kids together, we live in a rented house and only my name is on the tenancy. "

The man is a high drama, irresponsible nightmare. Of course she can kick him out & change the locks. He can stay with friends, family or hotel. He doesn't have to be her problem for one more day.

Yes. Get a friend or someone who will help to be with you through this as much as you can. It is so important