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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partners depression driving me away

1 reply

Kellybrad · 17/11/2022 08:53

I'm going to start by saying I know how selfish I am going to sound... I am 10 weeks pregnant and it has been a difficult road to get this far, I'm very unwell most of the day and am in bed as soon as our 4 year old goes to sleep. This is leaving my partner feeling lonely.
When I try to explain how ill I am, he tells me he's hating this pregnancy, he doesn't feel like he has a partner or anyone to talk to and is getting down. Work has slowed down for him because of the economy and this is adding to his worries.
He is getting snappy and has less patience, with me I do not care but snapping (not violently) at our son and then giving him the cold shoulder even after he has said sorry is a step too far, when I call him on this he says I don't understand what he's going through and he's in a black hole.... I'm at the point where my main priority is our son and unborn child. I've told him to get help or speak to someone and he hasn't.
I don't know what to do. He is generally a really good dad and partner but I do find that when in going through a rough patch he does the same and then trump's it. I end up feeling guilty for being ill.

OP posts:
ach45 · 19/11/2022 23:51

I think we can all agree you're not being selfish at all. It sounds like you have a lot on your shoulders - a small child to look after, a partner with mental health struggles and an unborn child to nurture. Small wonder you are finding it hard to cope and feeling some irritation towards the other grown up in the house! I found early pregnancy really hard emotionally. There is a lot of anxiety and inner turmoil but you can't share the reason with everyone. Maybe thinking in terms of one week at a time could help? Perhaps if all three of you were able to turn as much attention as possible to the new baby it might offer a positive focus? It sounds like your partner is needing to repair some damage with your son - could the two of them spend some time alone together doing something they both enjoy? It might offer you some respite and give them a chance to reconnect. Good luck.

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