I've been with my partner for 16 years. We have 2 children (8 and 11). Joint mortgage, not married. I work full time and have an ok salary (around £40k).
I knew he had debt but naively thought it was under control. I've found out recently the debt is for much more than I thought and was in part run up by gambling. I'm devastated - I just feel deceived and that I can never trust him again.
Despite this I still love him and after some soul searching said we could work through things if he sought help and we had counselling. He is seeking help but said he isn't sure where our relationship is. He said he doesn't want to lose me, but isn't in love with me and his head is all over the place.
So it seems as if it's over. Please can someone help me understand the practical things I need to do? I'm most worried about the kids. They love their dad and I can't imagine how they will take us splitting up. Their lives will drastically change as I don't know if I will be able to afford their clubs etc.
I'll have to buy him out of the house won't I? I don't know if I can afford it and I'm really scared about the mortgage rates. I know he'll have to pay maintenance but that comes out as £500 a month which won't go far.
And how do I sort the house, look after the kids and keep working whilst I'm dealing with my own heartbreak?