I want to have that falling in love feeling…marriage over?

[Blossom4538]

I adore my H but I just really crave more and that falling in love feeling again. I know it’s ridiculous!

We haven’t had sex in many years and I miss it!

Ive also fallen for someone who I definitely can’t be with and of course, I’m married! I don’t stop thinking about said person. I feel horrible saying this!

I care so much for my H, he is lovely and we cuddle lots. I just don’t want to kiss him or anything more and I definitely can’t see this changing at all. It makes me sad. Do I stay in a marriage feeling like this…it’s not as if we argue or he’s awful to me. Or is it the end? I don’t want to end up lonely and making a mistake. I’m hardly a catch - 40plus and a child with quite intense additional needs, which not everyone would want to take on, although they are amazing.

I really don’t know what to do.

The issue is simple. You’re sexually frustrated.

See a couples therapist (you can go alone) to work out why you crave sex but don’t want it with your husband. Perhaps there will be something the two of you can work on.

In most long marriages there are moments when you think “this marriage can’t last.” It’s up to you whether or not to work on it. The only thing I’m sure of is that your marriage isn’t over just because you fancy someone else, that’s common. But if you can’t face the thought of sex with your husband for some reason, then that is a separate problem which you need to solve or it will kill the marriage.