Boyfriend used to do Class A drugs

[libertybonds]

Would you date someone like this? He's very against drugs now.

We have been together for 8 months and it's getting more serious.

How long ago? Was it occasionally or all the time?

Heroin or smack would make me a bit uncomfy sorry.

Anything else, fine.

Adding crack to the uncomfy list.

He was a heavy drug user and smoker (cannabis and nicotine) from the age of 13. He then had a very drugs-based lifestyle until he was 25. He's now 40.

Really depends what kind of drugs. Shooting heroin in an alley is a bit different from a bit of coke in a night club.
I don't think I would mind as long as its not part of their life now.

He smoked crack, heroin, did loads of ecstasy.

Well I took many the drug in my 20's but that ship has sailed now and thankfully my partner has never judged me for it. He is off things 15 years. I think you should give him the chance.

The kind of upbringing that leads to this will have an affect on personality/mental health, which is more of a problem when it comes to general outlook/worldview and compatibility of a relationship.

The drug use itself is not really an issue. If you like him, and by 8 months you should know him pretty well, then who cares?

hmm the craic and heroin is worrying but he is clearly clean now. Are you afraid he will go back to it? I never touched them so no idea of how addictive either are to be honest. Mine was E/Speed/Coke based.

If he’s been clean and sober for 15yrs as you say, and he is out of that life (new city, new friends, got steady work/career), then I would not hold it against him. It takes alot of willpower to get out and stay out of that life.

I think he has done them all, though not for at least 10-15 years. He's occasionally smoked cannabis since then, but never in the time I have known him.

Has he had a HIV test?
I think if you've been together 8 months and his past has not affected your life in any way and its all going well I'd probably let sleeping dogs lay

Crack not craic ffs the Irish in me never lets up lol

We still have a good craic together 😉

Yeah, we had full std testing and are both clean

This is interesting. I actually think that the drugs and his history generally have given him a very empathetic outlook on the world. He's so lovely.

What sort of person is he now? Responsible, reliable, sensible? If so I wouldn’t hold his past against him. If he’s still into wild nights out drinking I don’t think I could cope with the uncertainty personally.

If he's so lovely and empathetic then why are you even asking? Taking drugs don't make you a bad or dangerous person.

What sort of person is he now? Responsible, reliable, sensible?

Yes, yes, yes

We drink quite a lot together sometimes 😳. Though we have only had hangovers a few times.

@thisplaceisweird I don't think it makes him a bad person. I think that he's a lovely person. Just curious whether maybe I am missing something. I don't even really worry that he will go back to drugs. My belief is that he wasn't addicted and it was a coping mechanism. His story challenges some of the prevailing narratives about drug use, actually, which is part of what gives me pause. For example, apparently some people can quit pretty easily...

I'd be a bit wary if I were you. My DH used to take cocaine in his early/mid-twenties. When we met, he told me he hadn't used cocaine for a few years and wouldn't ever use it again due to having a cocaine induced heart attack. Drug use is a big deal for me, and I trusted that he wouldn't use cocaine again when he told me about the heart attack. Over the years however, I've found out that he has used coke on occasion since we've been together. He's never bought it himself but has had the odd line off other people when offered. I hit the roof and we nearly split up because of it. I do believe he hasn't used it for a few years now but it's always in the back of my mind. If drug use is a deal breaker for you, I wouldn't recommend becoming involved with a ex drug taker, as you'll always be a bit paranoid over it.

I took my fair share of drugs in my 20s. Tbh, you are more likely to truthfully find someone who HASNT dabbled.

Those are some serious drugs he took, but its been a considerable length of time and im guessing his lifestyle is totally different now - if he hadnt have told you, would you ever have known/.

@Cherrytree77 I probably would have figured out that something went on, as he was a total loser for his drug taking years. It wasn't just dabbling. (His life is totally different now).