OLD turnoffs

[morethanspice]

Lighthearted post! I know it’s been done before but just get so frustrated with entitled men who write “just ask,” “I’m just me,” who wear sunglasses in every pic or only post long distance blurry pics. Which are often about fifteen years old! Also “I don’t know what to write here!” usually inserted before “just ask”!!! So many men don’t drive which is fair enough but one wanted to meet me after his work (9.30pm) then requested I run him home after as buses unreliable! Yeah a total stranger! I’ve met some lovely men too and seen some thoughtful and very witty profiles but still get fed up wading through the rest. Especially those who will “fill in later……”

OLD at best is a cesspit at worse it's a dangerous place ...what are you hoping to find, what sort of relationship?

The men who ask for snap chat.. no thanks
Also men who are holding dogs but write 'the dogs not mine'
Also men who turn the conversation sexual within 2 messages
Block
Men who say
'What is a girl like you doing on here'
Men who only post pictures of them with their friends

"Old fashioned gentleman looking for a lady to treat like a princess".

A Saudi princess, no doubt.

🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Decent guys don't stay single long they are snapped up and stay coupled up. They can hold a conversation with a woman, confident and attractive. They have a healthy lifestyle where they meet women. So they hardly ever need to go online and if they do they can cherry pick the best woman because they stand out amongst the sea of dick-heads. Quantity and not quality in the case of men on OLD.

The old faraway pics and sunglasses are usually because they are cheating. Guys in top secret and sensitive jobs wouldn't be OLD anyway if they really are worried about their job. They just find women in their own circle with the same concerns for privacy. The stories these guys spin on women to justify their lousy photos are laughable. Some even feign naivity and inexperience of OLD but he's really a gem.. yeah right(!) he chose a bad photo to hide something about himself. Not a great sign.

Meet guys from life activities, your friends and family circle and take your time.

No full body photos is an instant swipe left regardless of the face and written profile.

Immediate crossing the line in chat, turning everything smutty, etc. Grim.

Meet guys from life activities, your friends and family circle and take your time.

If only it was that easy 😂. I've been single for 10 years. I go to the gym, dance classes, meet up groups, solo travelling... you mention it- I've done it. All my friends know I'm open for dating and yet, all I get is ignoramuses via OLD who are either desperate or too busy for dating. It's frustrating.

Friends keep on repeating "it will happen when you are not thinking about it". Might do, but I'm truly losing hope

Why do you think they aren't approaching you? Or are you being approached but they aren't the type you like? You sound very outgoing and interesting.

Having met my partner on OLD, there are success stories. I do agree with having firm boundaries but also you do need to give some a chance, if they're basically ok.

@AppleCrumbleRumble, I tend to match with quite a few men and I always send a message when we match. Often they don't respond, or the conversation dies out after a few messages.

Recently I was talking to a guy who was very interesting. I like men who are well read and have traveled. He ticked all the right boxes but within a couple of days, before we arranged a date, he disappeared.

I'm not worried about it, as I'm happy enough on my own. It's just frustrating

In answer to the OP's question, my turn off is men who have attended "university of life". I don't care if you've been to uni or not, but this particular sentence makes me cringe

Kids in profile pics
No face just lots of torso pics
Profile pic surrounded by loads of scantily clad women
Every pic is of loads of men, no idea which face belongs to this profile
Profile blurb dissing old girlfriends
Dick pics
when you don’t reply and they call you a bitch
when you kindly say no thanks to a date because they’re not your type or something and they tell you that you’re a fat bitch anyway and not their type, they only messaged you for a joke?!

I am so grateful I got married before the internet was mainstream. I’ve been helping a fiend with her OLD and any lady who preservers with it despite drowning in d-ckwads deserves a prince. There’s some success stories though

I agree. It's a defensive phrase, showing that the person has a chip on their shoulder about their lack of formal education.

Couldn't you say the same about women standing out.

Or is it a case of 'that's not the same that's not the same'...

Any reference to them being 'foodies' or liking 'a nice glass of wine'.

Topless pictures taken in a hotel bathroom. That's another one that makes me cringe

Stuff like ‘not looking for drama.’ This translates to ‘I’ve fucked off every woman I’ve ever met and I want someone who doesn’t complain about my arsehole ways.’

People who brag about having a job and a car. What are you bragging for?

‘Like nights in and nights out.‘ So everything always then.

It’s like they read other profiles and copy them! One thing that makes me swipe right is a bit of individuality! The hate drama thing is very off putting, makes the person sound inflexible and selfish.

Agree, I think the ones that state no drama, they are normally the cause of drama.
As well no barbie dolls, no fake lips, boobs etc from a very average man, like he would have the chance lol.
'Not vanilla' I dont want to hear about your warped fantasies!
I've happily given up

As I'm Catholic then probably more/different things to the average woman.

I'm on a supposed Christian site where all the people on there are supposed to be Christian. But yesterday a bloke had 'I quite fancy you' as his opening line. Another after a day or so of messaging, when I mentioned the gym said, 'I'm sure you are fit in more ways than one.'

We're not supposed to look at people with lust/objectify people so it's not appropriate.

Maybe saying they think someone's beautiful would be ok after several months of dating, but not in messages fairly early on.

I met DH on an app. Off the top of my head, I can think of a dozen couples we know who met online/on apps and are now happily coupled up, mostly married and some have kids. It’s how most people I know met.

We are a very specific thirty something London demographic, however. You meet your other half at uni, through work, through mutual friends or online. Those are the only real routes and it’s generally one of the last two. We like OLD. The idea of some random striking up conversation in the gym or something is super unappealing to me.

Anyway, to answer OP’s question, anything other than a clear, well written and funny profile + at least three clear photos, including a (fully clothed) body shot was an instant ‘nope’. Nothing lewd, generic, belittling, or that indicated they had a chip on their shoulder of any kind.