Please help I’m at a loss and stuck

[Duckinghell80]

a very long story short.
My husband is having an affair (found proof and he’s admitted it)
We have two children (6&9)
I want a divorce, he doesn’t. He says we can work it out but I don’t want to. I need to start afresh with the children. I have a supportive family and friends.
we own a house together which is on the market and we’ve had a handful of semi decent offers which I have not accepted. I’ve been looking for other houses. I’m also thinking about starting divorce proceedings but I haven’t began anything yet. I only work part time in a poorly paid job but I have quite a lot of savings (that he doesn’t know about) I’ve always saved, it’s just how I was brought up and my parents always told me to have a safety net of money.
amyway I’ve seen a lovely little house just out of town near my parents that would be ideal. It’s been on the market a while with no offers. I’ve been to see it and fallen in love. I’ve fantasised about how happy me and my boys would be there.
I’ve put an offer in on it but they won’t accept until my house is sold. My (ex) partner won’t let me accept the offers as he’s so convinced we can get back together. I’ve told him so many times it’s not what I want and because he won’t agree to the offers I can’t move. I’m stuck. He won’t take no for an answer. I can’t afford this house on my own (plus I don’t want to be there)
I don’t know how to make him agree or if there’s any way I can’t sell this house without him agreeing.
he still comes and goes as though he lives here and I just can’t move on. I’m so low at the moment because I’m being forced to live a life that I really don’t want.
please, can anybody advise me on what I could do. I’m at breaking point

I was of the understanding that I couldn’t change the locks as his name is on the mortgage

I will. Thank you for your advice x

You cannot change the locks and he has every right to come to the house as he wills.

@Duckinghell80

Maybe your going to have to go a long the lines of abuse but he does sound quite violent.

I know it won't be easy but only way is for you to move out yourself and go where he doesn't know.

If house is joint mortgage can see him being in control of you because of the house and he knows he can come and go as he pleases and he knows your stuck.

I know it sounds crazy but leaving will show him he not in control and you are done.

He hoping you will give him another chance and by staying in the house he still in hope. Plus actually start the process of divorce that will also make him realize your not playing.
Just show him your in control. You just can't force anything at the moment he has rights too. He will use that to keep you stuck.

Will half of your 10,000 is his as all the marital assets will be taken into consideration. Definitely try to persuade the owner of he house you want to let you rent it, then stop paying anything towards the mortgage. It will be in his interests not to let your house be repossessed as will impact you both getting a future mortgage, so if he can’t afford it in his own he may be more inclined to sell.

Start divorce proceedings and get a judgement to say as he no longer lives there he may visit only with your agreement. Legal advice can be expensive so try here on the legal board.
And good luck OP.

My mother did the same as your husband, when my father left her for another woman.

Refused to agree to the house being sold, to the divorce...it ended up in in court, the house wasn't sold until two years after he'd left (this was back in the late 80s).

Backfired massively on my mother, as my father had stopped paying the mortgage the minute he left, and my mother was left her part time job at the same time (she couldn't have afforded to pay the mortgage on her own, anyway). When the house was finally sold, most of the equity went to the bank ... in fact, I'm not 100% certain that it wasn't the bank that forced the sale in the end, by threatening repossession...my mother won't talk about it now. My mother ended up with a financial settlement that was a quarter of what it would have been if she'd agreed to the sale straight away.

Use your savings to start the divorce and get it into court as soon as possible.

Unless op gets a occupation order or whatever it's called.

Also poss a non molestation order.

Surely the destruction of personal property could be used to help gain these.

You need to go and get advice from a good family law/divorce solicitor asap.

Do not leave out the destruction of your valuable, necessary property.

There is also a legal organisation called "Rights of Women" who might be able to help.

So sorry you are in this situation OP. I agree with your point, there would be no going back for me either in these circumstances.

i would say by not starting divorce proceedings, he thinks there is hope. So get the ball rolling that. Once he knows you are serious, hopefully he will agree to the house sale and you can both move on with your lives.

Wishing you all the very best for the future.