What do YOU think love is?

[OverMyDeadBody]

Not the unconditional love for children, but the 'love' we speak about in relationships.

What is it? I'm pretty certain that, although I have been 'in love' a fair few times, I've never actually loved any boyfriends. Maybe my expectations are too high or I've got the definition wrong, so was wondering what others thought?

I don't believe in fairytale romantic notions of love either, that's just being in love and always passes. What do you think? What's your definition of love? Does it even really exist? Is it a concept, a feeling, a thing, a belief?

I think real love is also companionship - knowing the other person inside out and wanting to be with them because, rather than despite, any faults.

brilliant point Starlight.

All qualities have their direct flip side and love is also about being able to accept both sides.

It was those kind of comments that got me thinking about this mildmannered. I think those people who just pay lip service to love, as a feeling, don't have a clue what real love is all about.

I think also, with true love comes complete acceptance of the other person for who they are as an individual, rather than trying to change them or mould them into something we want them to be. It makes me really sad when I hear people saying things like "well I used to be really into but don't any more as DP doesn't really like me doing that"

Well according to one of my favourite films ever, love is simply a series of 'connections' in our brain, which are made over time and with repetition. It's all chemistry.

However, I think love is wanting to be with the person all the time but understanding each other enough to know that you also need your own space; it's understanding each other from the inside out, knowing what makes each other tick and trying your best to achieve it, feeling sad if they are sad or ill in any way, worrying about them when you are apart and not being satisfied til you know they are there, doing nice things for each other, being looked after when I am stressed and vice versa. I am currently doing my PGCE and we have lots of building work, lots of animals, including two horses, but he's holding it all together - that is love. When I was very ill 2 years ago, he was there and never left my side, supported my recovery and did anything he could to help - that is love. We share everything, even down to moans and groans and criticise each other like no one's business, but only we can do that and still feel ok with each other - that is love! ) But it all just comes down to respect, understanding, caring for each other, wanting to spend your lives together and nothing get in the way, and wanting to have a family together.

It IS a feeling, and it is one that is long-lasting, intense and never goes away even when you are thinking about something else.

favourite film - what the bleep...

i thought i knew what it meant until my exh told me last year that he loved me..but wasn't in love with me

he has said it again since

i was completely thrown by this

he has now lent me a lot of money

he has been my exh for 8 years

i am not at all sure what love is

I agree wholeheartedly with postingatlast, Love is a word, not a feeling, just a word with many connotations, which for each person and each relationship can be completely different.

I think it is impossible to truly define, you can say traits that you love, or that you beleive add to the love you feel but I don't beleive you can truly ever give it a definition.

belie*ve.

I think it's not when you put his wellbeing before your own, but when his wellbeing is your wellbeing, because you are part of each other.

cory I kind of see what you mean, but at the same time your discription sounds dangerously close to mutual dependancy to me, it's a fine line!

Whats that gooey feeling you get when you remember a moment and it makes you smile, regardless of where you are standing. At the sink, in a meeting, at an interview and you are grinning..

dh is my best friend, he knows me better than anyone, and challenges me still, 12 years on from the day we met when he kept getting into arguments with me ! I love him so much but the whole 'in love'thing I don't get as I have only ever had him. So I must be 'in love' with him, as I certainly don't want anyone else and have never even looked at anyone else. Wish I could still get the butterflies thing....but I am too bloody constantly knackered to have sex half the time ! He think this means I don't love him or fancy him, but I do, I just need to sleep !
I still get excited to see him though, love eveything about him, its just the pressure for sex that makes me back off...

oh but charliecat I get that gooey feeling and grinning remembering a moment that I've shared with DS, one of my friends, and definately with boyfriends and ahem bed buddies (and there is deifnately not any love involved there!) Although obviously I love my DS and love my friends.

But even remembering breif flirtatious encounters with strangers makes me grin. Maybe I'm just a loon

SOmething between a recreational drug and a viral infection. It can also be a fetish. Lots of fun while you're enjoying the 'high' but quite often there'sa rubbish comedown. ANd throwing up usually comes into it at some point.

chankins you can love someone without ever being in-love with them

lol madamez, but that sounds more like the emotions involved with lust or 'in-love' rather than actual love to me.

overmydeadbody if you are a loon I am too. Was wondering if it had a name