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Original poster

Why does he want to talk about age so much?

31 replies

Sunnysideup55 · 14/11/2022 20:11

I've been dating a guy for a few months and things have mostly been going ok. He seems to talk about our ages all the time though and it's starting to become irritating. He'll say things like "I'm 42...but look a lot younger" or "I don't look 42, eh!". I don't even know how many times he's asked my age and what year I was born in but it's a lot. It's almost like he's trying to catch me out or maybe he doesn't believe I am the age I say I am. I'm 36 by the way. When he tells people he looks younger than he is there's always an uncomfortable silence and it's obvious that people just don't know what to say.

Personally I think he looks great and am very attracted to him. He does look his age though and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! I'm guessing he brings up age so much because he's looking for compliments!? I'm just running out of things to say to him. Constantly reassuring someone is tiring and tbh I'm bored of the same thing coming up. I guess I'm looking for ways to put this topic to bed? Any suggestions would be appreciated 💐

OP posts:
pippinsleftleg · 14/11/2022 20:12

He sounds very dull.

Miss03852 · 14/11/2022 20:12

He sounds kind of weird and cringe.

Pheefifofuckthisshit · 14/11/2022 20:14

He sounds insecure and needy as fuck. And a little socially inept. None of which I'd find attractive regardless of how old he looked. Maybe put the conversation to bed by dumping him?

Echobelly · 14/11/2022 20:20

If I was more paranoid I'd say it sounds to me like he's older than 42 and is overcompensating... but mostly likely he's feeling a bit insecure about being with a younger woman.

Maybe next time he mentions his age make a joke about 'That's exactly the sort of thing a guy who is secretly 59 would say!' and gauge his reaction... or in the very least it might shut him up.😝

MaxTalk · 14/11/2022 20:31

One way to put this topic to bed: Dump him.

He sounds like a moron.

Watchkeys · 14/11/2022 20:38

Have you tried saying 'Can you stop talking about your age, please?'

If you want someone to stop doing something, it's best to ask them, rather than a forum they don't use.

I think there's more of a problem than you think in your relationship, if you can't ask him a simple thing like that. What if you wanted to ask him to do something that was actually a bit hard?

CherrySocks · 14/11/2022 20:38

Have you asked him why he is so obsessed with his age?

CatherinedeBourgh · 14/11/2022 20:39

He's probably lying about his age.

PickledRat · 14/11/2022 20:51

Just say what you’ve written here. Next time he says ‘I don’t look 42, do I?’, tell him that he does, it’s fine and not to keep going on about it. If he continues you will have to end things on the grounds that he is annoying/attention seeking.

Changingplace · 14/11/2022 20:51

Does he have nothing else to talk about? He sounds boring.

I went on a few dates with a guy once, and every single time I saw him he told me the same story about seeing a particular band at s festival, it was like his one story he thought was cool.

I got bored of that pretty quick so I can’t imagine how many times I could listen to this guy’s dull chat about his age.

SudocremOnEverything · 14/11/2022 20:55

He won’t get better. My STBXH a is obsessed with how young he supposedly looks. He 43 now. He looks like… a middle aged man. But in his head he looks like he’s 23. Or wishes he did.

This is the bit you’re seeing in the early days. Imagine all the hairline checking and angsting over lines that he’s not showing you right now. Or how boring it is to have a grown man be so needy about having his ego boosted about not looking old.

Badhead · 14/11/2022 21:14

You're not dating that Beauty Beyond the Eye guy from TikTok are you? He's 42 and acts like he's in his late teens.

Butterfly44 · 14/11/2022 21:28

The reason he talks about is because he's lying about his own age. Asking about the year you're born is telling. What year was he born then? I'd try and find that out first

MintyGreenDreams · 14/11/2022 21:30

"No you look 45"

CartoonLlama · 14/11/2022 21:36

It's clearly scratching some kind of itch / he's trying to get some need met - maybe it's as straightforward as worrying about ageing, agree it's a sign of insecurity. Whether it's at all possible to have a sensible conversation about it will depend on how self-aware he is, though - I used to do this kind of thing and it required an awful lot of personal growth to stop...

Unicorn2022 · 14/11/2022 21:47

He's shaved a couple of years off his age and is insecure as hell

WednesdaysChild11 · 14/11/2022 21:51

😂😂😂😂 sorry but this sounds funny. Can just imagine everyone's confused faces.

Optimummum · 14/11/2022 23:57

I’d just ask hun straight up ‘ why do you ask. Do you think there’s something wrong with people who look 42 ?
Then mayve point out that one day very soon you will be 42 and you don’t want to be with some jerk who thinks that it’s a hideous thing to look like a 42yr old

JustAnotherHappyFatty · 15/11/2022 06:30

I have a couple of female acquaintances like this, although more extreme.
One of them is in her fifties and tells people it's great that she looks the same age as me (late thirties). You can tell by the way people look at her they can't tell if she's joking and it gets very awkward, doesn't stop her though.
It doesn't help that she's married to a younger man so I think she tries to convince herself that she looks amazing for her age, in reality she is a very average normal looking fifty something woman.
Is it possible you're partner is having a but if a midlife crisis? Clinging on to his youth as long as possible but going about it in the wrong way?

Aprilx · 15/11/2022 07:10

If my husband kept talking about looking younger than his age and it was getting boring I would just tell him. Why can’t you do that?

Trees6 · 15/11/2022 07:24

I thought that you were going to say that you were a lot younger than him, as in 10+ years, but the age gap isn’t particularly wide, so it can’t be that. He just sounds needy and socially inept. My mother was like this and it was irritating.

oobeedoobee · 15/11/2022 07:26

OP it actually sound like 'mentionitis' to me

I think he's shaved a few years off his real age, and keeps talking about it to check if people actually believe him ?

The only other reason I can think of for him to do this is that he's extremely vain and 'looks' oriented ? Which doesn't bode well for your relationship once he thinks that you look 'too old' for him !

Either one is actually grim tbh...

Ragwort · 15/11/2022 07:38

He sounds an absolute bore, people who go on about their age and looks are so tedious... unless they are 17 and then you can assume they will soon grow out of it.

Floweryflora · 15/11/2022 07:47

Sounds vain and insecure to me, wouldn’t really be my thing.

icelollycraving · 15/11/2022 07:47

Bet he’s older. My husband lied about his age as I am younger. Knocked off some years.
I remember on our first date saying are you sure you’re 36? Tough paper round? He was 43 but at 10 years older, thought I wouldn’t be interested.
I am smiling at the thought of the puzzled awkward silence following his request for compliments 🤣

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