Do you ever not like your spouse?

[Flockofbirds]

Sometimes my DH and I have such vastly differing views on parenting, how to manage the house and garden, our chosen careers, how & when we exercise etc that I struggle to understand why I like him.

I hate that sometimes he shouts or gets so angry that it scares me, although I know he would never hurt me or our DC.

Weve been together over 10years, and this is the longest relationship I’ve ever been in - it is normal to feel like this?

Unfortunately yes

We were married 10 years and now getting divorced.

Have to say I'm sort of surprised/sort of not that after nearly 20 years together I felt nothing for him very quickly after he left

No it’s not normal for him to scare you regularly; probably upsets your children as well

Scaring you is hurting you, even if you know he won't physically hurt you.

It's very damaging and unhealthy to be in a relationship with someone who scares you. Why are you putting up with it? Do you not realise how bad it is for you and the kids? Was your dad scary to you or your mum when you were growing up?

I never dislike him because I respect him. I couldn't respect him if he lost his temper to that point as a regular way of conducting himself. That's probably more the issue here.

He never scares me, but sometimes when we're arguing I HATE him. In that moment I despise him because our arguments can be brutal. Thankfully we only have one or two arguments like that a year. The rest of the time we're very happy.