Is this an andropause? Is this an end?

[LaCremaPara]

I am 40 partner 55. In last 2 years he became very angry with absolutely everything and everyone. He is in conflict with family, workmates, road users, shoppers. I think he is even in conflict with himself. We have no social life as he moans about everyone and everything. No dates, no going out. All he talks about is retirement and hobbies. As you can tell I am much younger full of energy and overall always been very happy person but I am getting more and more miserable around him. I've started going away and spending more time with my mother and old friends because they actually make me feel relaxed and happy. Here comes the big thing. My DP snores. I endured it for a while (1year) it was hard. He did not believe me it was that bad until I recorded his snoring. I asked him to go the doctors. It's been a year and he didn't. Instead he moved to spare bedroom. For 18 months he's been sleeping in a separate room and we have no sex. I am going crazy, I love having fun etc. He is not interested.
I often wonder at night is that it? Will I never have sex again? When I go somewhere on my own I will get a polite male attention which is very nice and obviously reassures me that I am still attractive to other men.
We have not been on holidays for 4 years, no sex, no dates, no romance. I make ocassional candle dinner to hint something but he is not interested. I suggested couples therapy but he says he doesn't need therapy. I am considering leaving him. This relationship is misery. No he hasn't got an affair as we work from home. All he does watches TV in his spare time. I actually do not look forward to weekends with him because I know he will be miserable and lash out on me. Just had to get it off my chest. Would you leave?

Would you leave?

I'd be packing my bags right now.

Sounds like the age gap catching up with you, probably accelerated by lockdown. He is prematurely turning into a grumpy old man.
You are only 40. Don’t waste your life being miserable, and then taking care of him. He isn’t going to change and it is all going only one way.
You need to be selfish here and think of your own life. Don’t let him drag you along into his misery.

I wish all the women in their 20/30a posting questions about age gap relationships and being told ‘age is just a number’ - would read more of the posts like yours.

Sounds miserable OP. I’d tell him that unless he makes some serious long-lasting changes, you’ll be off. Him refusing couples therapy suggests to me that he’s not prepared to change though unfortunately.

There’s only two words I would be saying to him “bye bye” this will get a lot worse not better !

What I would add for the benefit of other women is that it is not like that in every relationship. My previous partner was much older too but we did have fun. His mind was youthful. The age gap creeps slowly and shows up in different forms - DP not willing to compromise, not wanting to refurbish, update the house, lack of intimacy, no common interest, getting aggressive around dressing nicely and looking all polished, lack of romance, constant money counting despite having enough, dragging you along to meet his 60+70+ friends, no no no. There must be hope out there right?

Did this all start when the snoring started? He might have sleep apnea and all the things you mentioned might be because of chronic lack of sleep.