I've been married 11 years to my husband. He has admitted a porn addiction. We don't have sex but he was genuinely trying to get over the addiction. He did several different types of therapy, removed access to all social media and left his phone plugged in locked away at night so he couldn't use it. We weren't having sex before because of his addiction, although I obviously didn't know this was why, and now it's because I don't want to as I feel so shit about everything.
We have two kids, one at infants, one pre school. My husband is unemployed (was sacked a year ago) and hasn't found a job since. He is doing some online courses to help him move into a new sector but obviously I'm paying for everything right now, it's tight, but manageable.
The level of shame and guilt he feels about his addiction means he cannot function without an unbearable level of anxiety and he isn't mentally well enough to look after the pre schooler on his own. We live 1hr from our nearest family but when I'm at work, his parents come and look after the kids. There are tensions building here too.
I think he has probably started looking at porn again, although I might be putting 1 and 1 together and getting 3. I told him to always be honest with me and he says he isn't looking, and I don't know why, but I don't believe him.
My life isn't better or worse with him in it. I could put up living like this for the sake of the kids. I've read so much on here about the effects of relationship breakdown on the kids. Do I sick it up, or move on? How I'd manage the childcare without his parents still doing as much as they do is part of the problem. We'd have to sort out custody, which I'd get, but I'd still want them to have a relationship with him.
What should I do, and if the answer is LTB, how should I make that happen and how do I arrange everything so I can work? Moving house is unlikely to be on the agenda because I'll have massive early repayment fees with 4 years left on my 5year fixed rate. Moving would also mean moving the kids and they are both settled after rocky starts at nursery and school. but living here on my own with them and limited childcare seems impossible.
Help! Sorry it's long.