What do you do with you FWB?

[Gotanewname]

Posted this in Sex but reposting here as it’s prob more a relationship thing and more traffic here.. I mean what do you do apart from sex, how does it work?! Do you go out for meals, even go away together? Stay overnight at one another’s houses? How often are you in touch? How much personal stuff do you share? I’m not quite sure on the right boundaries.

I’m recently got myself an FWB for the first time. He’s a friend I met through work years ago and a lovely guy, great company - but definitely not relationship material for me, if I was looking for a relationship. I have a tiny niggle in my mind he is open to it developing into something more and though I’ve been really clear that’s not where I am (and he says he’s very happy with FWB) I don’t want to confuse things.

There is if you were already friends before the sex started.

Exactly what it says on the tin. Friends with (sexual) benefits.

FWB is different for everyone. Really, it's about the two people setting clear boundaries for what they each expect. FWB can go spectacularly wrong a lot of the time because one person's expectations is higher than the others.

If you think that either yourself or your FWB will develop feelings, get out of there pronto.

Genuine FWB is very rare I think, and is often one person being used while the other has their cake and eats it too.

FB is much more typical I think, but people prefer to say it's FWB because it doesn't sound so mercenary.

I'm not judging, I've had both, but they were a poor substitute for a real relationship for me personally (not that it's easy to find one of those, whereas FWB/FB is impossible to avoid).

I have a strange "situationship" with my FWB. It started off as purely a Fuck Buddy thing. We would meet up a couple of times a week for sex. Never spoke outwith those times. In fact, barely spoke during the sex either.

Then he moved away for work and randomly started messaging me on WhatsApp. Just general chit chat. We met up in a hotel every couple of weeks for sex but also chatted afterwards.

He then invited me to his new place where we spent the time chatting, going out for meals, having sex, watching movies. I spent 3 nights there and he held me close every single night while we slept.

We've been back to hotel meet ups since then but he's constantly asking me to go back to his place for a few nights.

I'm not sure where this is going to end up but the sex is mind-blowing so I'm happy for it to continue

I feel It’s ok to have a FWB,
having been married for so long I’m not about to leap back their anytime soon,
I keep mine private for many different reasons but mainly because of the age & cultural differences.
We meet once or twice a week, wine maybe a take away, sex and he’s gone.
Suits me (and him) fine x

Angela59

im now dying to know abiut the age and cultural differences !

He’s 15 yrs younger than I
Infidelity isn’t generally acceptable in his culture x

I had one a few years ago but I blocked him on everything because he wasn't a friend (he claimed the Friend bit was most important.) Towards the end he wasn't managing to use me for sex and get much sex out of me and he would just nag and nag and nag for sex acts he knew I didn't like. I still feel the massive sense of freedom from the sexual coercion.

Stop being a slag

How bloody rude!!!

The way I see it is that FwB is actually a relationship - just a very 'light weight' one without commitment to each other, and (optionally) without exclusivity. As soon as you share more than just the sex then there is an emotional connection of some sort in there.

I think a fuck buddy arrangement is a better way to go about casual - just someone who you've no prior association with that you meet purely for physical gratification. No socialising with them or regular message chit chat ping pong stuff.

He’s 15 yrs younger than I
Infidelity isn’t generally acceptable in his culture x

Umm, are you saying your FwB is cheating on their real partner?

I think a lot depends on what else the FWBs have going on - if I was trying to be exclusive with my FWB I would categorically get too invested. Both of us are non-monogamous and I have a boyfriend, my FWB has another FWB.

We meet every few weeks and spend the weekend doing normal couply things, although we would never eg hold hands across the restaurant table. It’s flirty and sexy rather than romantic and schmaltzy.