2020 and into 2021, I had bad PND - massively contributed to by my DH not being there for me in many ways.
During that time, I found out he’d accepted a Snapchat friend request off a female who, he refused to tell me anything about when I asked, but I found out myself was a pre-work training course few times hook up, maybe about 9 months before meeting me. He didn’t mention it and said he hadn’t done anything wrong as he hadn’t added her, just accepted. I did question why, especially given the nature of Snapchat and what their relationship was, he’d even accept it if they didn’t speak and hadn’t since 2017? Or maybe it was just me being paranoid with the PND.
Fast forward to now, we overcame everything, did a lot of work like counselling and so I thought, were happy and I’m pregnant again but, I’ve started getting niggly again. I am happy for you to tell me I’m being silly and to work on myself/hormones (in a kind way of course please!)
He’s always been fairly chilled but lately he’s starting snapping at me a lot for no reason and asking me to drop DS off at nursery so he can start work earlier. Just tonight he snapped at me for asking him to spend a couple more minutes chilling out with me as he’d rather go and get on with the hoovering (the man has had an aversion to cleaning for forever!) He then got even more snappy when I lightheartedly questioned it.
He also constantly says how we have no money and live payday to payday each month since the cost of things skyrocketed so we have no spare money for leisure time. I’m trying to get everything we need for baby - clothes etc, each month whilst he has bought maybe one set of babygrows.
He’s booked a lads day/into evening of drinking with his friends in a few weeks in a city a fair way away, so when I asked if that is doable, could we possibly find a bit of spare money for us to do something like a small meal, before baby arrives, snapped again and said only if I get my cheque book out. Part of my PND was lockdown and being unable to have any time outside of the home or being a new parent so I’m petrified of being ill again.
He came home one day a week ago and out of the blue said someone had commented to him he smelt a bit sweaty at the end of his shift (he’s a police officer) so that turned into him buying lots of new deodorant, shaving his entire armpit hair off and having multiple showers everyday which he has never done before and it seems to stop when he’s off work, resuming when he goes back. He’s also much keener to get out of the house just to pop out for things and his phone is now turned onto silent in the evenings - something which never used to happen, even when he worked night shifts and needed to sleep in the day.
Am I being silly? If you do have these niggles and gut feelings, where do you go next? I’m not wonderful at wording things gently unfortunately to just say how I feel and I doubt it would be received very well at the moment!