Please tell me if anyone else feels this way. Dh has a corporate job that requires him to travel a couple of times a month, usually about 3 or 4 days at a time. At busier times of the year, he can spend quite a lot of his own personal time (including nights & weekends) sorting out work problems, attending functions and being on the phone. As a result he has quite a lot of independence and spends a reasonable amount of time away from home. We have a four year old son but have been together for much longer.
This isn't the whole problem but just part of it. As far as I'm concerned, dh wants as little to do with the practicial side of parenting as possible. He hardly ever has ds (4) on his own, and when he does, he acts as though he's made this big contribution by spending a little bit of time looking after his own son. He NEVER takes ds out just for fun, just the two of them, so ds spends most of his time doing things with me or with my parents (when not at preschool). I try to organise as many playdates and fun things as I can for him, but it seems to always be ME spending time with ds. A couple of weeks ago dh & I took ds away to another city for a weekend (a rarity) which should have been nice for all of us, because we'd planned to take ds to a theme park and to the zoo and basically just spend time doing some fun things together. Well most of the time dh acted as though he was thoroughly bored/annoyed by having to spend his time doing things with ds. His face was like stone a lot of the time and he commented several times about how 'we can't do anything of our own when ds is around'. WTF??!! We had specifically planned to spend this weekend as a family and he was ruining it for everyone with his attitude. After spending nearly two days with his scowling face I lost it with him & told him what I thought - things improved slightly for a while but he always reverts back to being intolerant when it comes doing things like this. He also gets off very lightly around the house, doesn't do much at all except for the outside (garden), and I do virtually everything else including caring for ds. - bathing, feeding, dressing, bedtime, etc etc. I literally have to ask him to help me with ds because most of the time he won?t offer. He works full-time but his hours are quite flexible and he gets quite a few perks with his job, I'm a SAHM but have been studying part-time for the last few years and seem to be acting increasingly as a single parent. Funny thing is that my parents offer to babysit for us quite often but dh rarely takes them up on the offer, unless of course it?s to attend one of his work functions. I am starting to wish I was married to a completely different kind of man
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Tired of dh's attitude
6 replies
LJsmum · 01/12/2004 10:27
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