Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ghosted. I think.

3 replies

Ilovesoutherncomfort · 12/11/2022 22:37

I’m in my late 50s and was so pleased when I met a gentleman in his early 60s approx 18 months ago after surviving the horrors of OLD.
We have had a lovely time despite living some distance apart and have taken turns visiting each other every few weeks. We had both agreed we were not interested in marriage or moving in together but managed to have an exciting refreshing relationship, visiting places and having experiences which my ex was never interested in.
So the week before last was his turn to come to mine. We had a lovely day and evening ( or so I thought) and he left as usual the next morning.
I thought it was strange and a bit rude for him not to text me to say he had arrived home safely or to thank me for a nice evening but know he can be forgetful sometimes.
However 4 days went by with complete radio silence until I eventually sent him a text asking if I had upset him. Was really surprised to get a reply saying no but he had lots going on in his mind and needed some space so I just replied he could have let me know and I would leave him alone.
So far, nothing at all from him. I wouldn’t have been devastated if he had sent me an official breaking up text , would just have thought well I’ve had a good fun 18 months. But I’m so hurt that he feels he can treat me like this. He knows me well enough to know how hurt and surprised I am at being left just hanging.
So, my wise friends. Do I just completely forget him and not get back in touch asking what is happening or do I wait a few weeks and I do the formal breaking up myself? Why do I have the feeling that he may be waiting for me to do it so that he doesn’t feel guilty for being the one doing it? ( if that makes sense).

OP posts:
WatieKatie · 12/11/2022 22:43

Leaving you hanging isn’t very kind. Perhaps this is how he behaves during stressful times?

Personally I wouldn’t contact him again. He’ll come back when he’s ready. However don’t sit around waiting for him and be warned that he is likely to behave like this again.

minticecreamisjustok · 12/11/2022 22:50

He sounds very selfish and unkind to leave you in limbo. I would assume it's over and try to move on. The fact now as he's done this, if he tries to come back, the trust is lost that he wouldn't do it again. Accept and decide your own closure.

Ilovesoutherncomfort · 12/11/2022 23:03

I’m sad and disappointed as I felt so relieved and lucky I had met a man who had such similar interests and who I could actually have a decent intelligent conversation with. I had been nothing but kind and supportive and this has come totally out of the blue. I wear my heart on my sleeve and he would know that I will be upset and hurting.
And I certainly have not got the energy anymore for fighting through the OLD game playing so will have to just be satisfied with a man free life!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page