Family court experiences please.

[HeyMoana]

Are family courts sympathetic to a parent that is filing to end a 50/50 child care informal arrangement on account of their being a power imbalance in the parenting relationship ( filing parent has less power). This kind of child care arrangements requires good communication, compromise and organisation and that is simply not possible where there has been domestic abuse regardless of how able both parents are able to meet the child’s needs.

Does anyone have experience of this?

In my experience family courts weren’t sympathetic about anything especially domestic abuse they literally wanted to make an order then get us out as quick as possible! I went in with the view of allowing contact he went in with the view of slandering me and my parenting. I would suggest you go in with a plan of contact less then the 50% in place now and set boundaries regarding contact. Have pick up and drop off in a public place and use a parenting app if you have to communicate, this way messages cannot be deleted or edited.

No way to answer really- there are many factors they consider- age of child, their wants, length of current arrangement, proof that it's detrimental to the child, proof that it's in their best interest, etc.

You need to get to Women's Aid. The court won't care about you. I, personally , decided to give up any desire for Christmas etc. You have to be extremely careful not to nitpick. All picking up and dropping off by him at your house.

I've been supported out of the property by a DV charity. One of my children has ASD and needs routine. The other having separation anxiety, both under 7.
He's established "status quo" through his refusal to discuss altering arrangement. I think. How to implement a change in routine prior to going to court without creating a scene and upsetting my children is baffling yet it's the advice I keep getting.

He has to drop off and pick up? Why is this please?

I've had the opposite experience. I had a domestic abuse support worker, and they helped me stay calm. Where I stayed calm and constantly focused on the children, but he kept ranting about me the judge saw he was not thinking of them. I got everything I asked for and complete support. He got told off. Same with the non mol i applied for. Try and stay calm, always explain why it's about the children.

Thank you.
Can I ask whether it had to be physical abuse or not?
My DV case worker is very clear that the abuse was bad but it a all centred around demoralising me, putting me down and removing any power from me.
He is well educated and knows how to go into a professional environment. I worry that they won’t understand how this can continue in the co parenting relationship.

It doesn’t have to be physical abuse, they will consider coercive and controlling behaviour but you have to show how the children are affected, they only care about the child’s welfare

You could look into alienation - courts are unimpressed by a patent who manipulates dc against the other parent.

Same here
i now have a CAO which bars him having any direct contact because his behaviour was so appalling in court and out of it though I appreciate that it is a very rare outcome,

v good advice to stay calm and always child focused even when you are terrified and outraged by things.

Because all the sitting waiting for the kids to get ready will be his problem. If you wait at his house he'll keep you waiting intentionally and disguise it was the kids faffing. Also means that you can have a night out and not worry about driving the next day.

I has asked him to pick up but he told me it wasn’t “normal” and being in the state I was at the time, I just believed him.